no trivia [jori]

8

"I do."

It was barely a whisper but it echoed loudly through the hall. The two small words reached out like vines, wrapping their way around my heart, my lungs, every vital organ they could touch, and they squeezed. Squeezed so hard I was sure I was suffocating. My vision distorted, I swayed.

"You may kiss the bride."

Almost everyone was crying now: their (birth) mothers, the bridesmaids, Robbie was blubbering like a baby beside me, but the tears I shed, ones I hadn't even noticed, pouring down my cheeks like waterfalls, were for an entirely different reason.

She chose him.

It was over.

Things blurred by. People were clapping, cheering, congratulating. Confetti was already being thrown as the happy couple- now man and wife- walked down the aisle arm in arm, both grinning from ear to ear, and there was no quick glance in my direction this time. No hesitation. No going back.

I was last, left alone in the huge room with its long wooden benches that had been filled, just seconds ago, with a happy crowd of people. With the archway of flowers, the stupid organ in the corner that the organist had now abandoned and the brightly coloured flakes of paper that now littered the floor; it all made me sick. Despite Andre's trying-to-be reassuring smile or Robbie's insistence that we leave for the reception together, I couldn't move. I was frozen in place, struggling to breath, every limb felt stiff as if I'd just looked into the eyes of Medusa and had been turned to stone.

Now what?

I felt a large, warm hand enclose over my shoulder and the familiar, yet stronger than I remembered, smell of coconut milk invaded my nostrils. I don't know if it was his sudden appearance behind me or his drastic change in clothing that shocked me more, being so used to the bright, eccentric colours that he'd wear everyday to school, it certainly was a sight to see Sikowitz in a deep plum suit, black shirt, white tie, and with his solemn look, he looked more like a funeral attendee than a wedding guest. His lips twitched into a sympathetic smile as he looked down at me, his palm patting softly on my shoulder blade.

"You know that janitor's closet has a window, right?"

I felt my cheeks redden as I instantly caught on.

"It's not that I intentionally looked." He added in defence "But you two were never the quietest under normal circumstances, I was just walking by and needed to investigate all the noise-"

"Okay! Okay!" I interrupted, feeling my embarrassment grow.

He smiled warmly. "It wasn't just that, though. I could tell by the way you looked at her, the way she looked at you when she thought no one would notice." He sighed. "I was always rooting for you, kid."

With one last sigh, Sikowitz walked away, leaving me truly alone now. I'm sure he meant to comfort me, but his words were doing the exact opposite. They just made me feel more longing, wishing for those care free days where they'd break up and Jade would spend more time with me. Those days I could forget everything else and think of her as my girlfriend.

We were a tangled mass of limbs, sweaty, out of breath, a satisfied smile on each of our faces.

Jade had arrived at my door around an hour ago. She didn't say a word, just grabbed my wrist and yanked me upstairs to my bedroom and I silently thanked God that my parents and Trina were out of the house, because those unsaid words soon turned to screams and cries of ecstasy, moaned names reverberating around the walls in lust. Now only our heavy breathing filled the air.

"What did you two argue about this time?" I yawned, hoping to sound as if I didn't care. It had become a frequent habit of Jade's, to come running to me after her and Beck had had an argument, but lately it was becoming more and more often. Just the other day she had cornered me in the girls' bathroom after she'd yelled at Beck for merely looking at another girl. Those cramped stalls aren't the most comfortable places.

It had crossed my mind that I was being used, but I just couldn't say no.

"It wasn't him." Jade replied with an even louder yawn. "It was my dad. He got mad because he found me cutting up one of his best ties."

"Why were you cutting up one of his best ties?"

Jade shrugged. "Felt like it."

She was lying on her back, her arms behind her head that rested on her linked fingers. She stared unseeing at my ceiling, barely reacting when I trailed my nails softly across her bare stomach, circling her bellybutton, watching the light pink marks fade on the pale skin.

"I broke up with Beck." She blurted out after a few minutes silence, causing me to jump at this sudden admission.

"You broke up with-"I couldn't say his name. "Why?"

Jade shrugged again. "He kept asking stupid questions. 'What's wrong?', 'Why are you acting this way?' It got annoying. So, I told him if he didn't stop asking questions, we're over. Then he said 'why?'"

I fought not to roll my eyes. It was the most ridiculous reason to break up with someone; anyone could tell there was more to it than that. I decided not to ask; if she could break up with Beck over questions, I didn't want to risk it. Not that we were together or anything- at least, not officially- but I'd give anything for our moments like this.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

If my head hadn't been resting on her chest, listening to her soothing heartbeat, I wouldn't have believed Jade said that. I shifted to look up at her, finding those soft, yet icy eyes looking down at me with an emotion I couldn't recognise. I nodded and cuddled closer to her.

Jade's fingers stroked through my tangled hair as she breathed a word "Thanks." And I fell asleep with a grin plastered across my face. For, tonight, she was mine, and only mine.

Three days later, they were back together, as if nothing had ever happened.

They had to forcibly remove me from the manor house so they could clean it up for the next function. I was numb, nodding dumbly along with whatever the guy was saying to me about taxis and the best way out of here, but the second I was out the door, I just let my feet carry me wherever they may. It wasn't long before a wobbly step caused me to come crashing to the ground, falling to my knees. The dam burst. Tears spilled. I was broken.

Farewell to all the days you were
Within my reach