no trivia [jori]

18

The night was cold, the few stars dulled by the heavy clouds unleashing unforgiving rain that pelted my windshield as I drove down the familiar streets I hadn't been to in so many years. I kept my breathing in check, my jaw clenched, wanting to keep a level head for the task ahead. I knew I needed to do what was right, not what my aching heart wished, I needed to make amends for all I'd done.

The decision I'd made weighed heavy in the pit of my stomach, twisting my gut with the thoughts of what was to lose, with nothing to gain, after fighting so hard for what I wanted.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, forcing myself to focus on the road ahead while blinking back the all too familiar sting in my eyes. It's all about her. It's always all about her.

"It's always all about her!" I spat my last thoughts aloud, slamming on my breaks as I hit a red light, thankful for all the 'importance of wearing a seatbelt' lectures my dad used to give me. I took a deep breath, balancing the pedals as I revved the engine in my desperation to go. If I didn't do this now, I never would.

It took a lot of work to find out where he was staying. I knew he wouldn't go home as, if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't either, too many memories to plague a haunted mind. I almost gave up, until I remember how desperate Robbie was to keep in contact with everyone after the wedding and how he had given me details for every method of contact that was available to him. When he first picked up the phone after its fifth ring, I could tell he was off with me. It was understandable, he and Beck were always such good friends, and still are, he wouldn't want to cause Beck any more pain by talking to the girl who broke up his marriage. But after some explaining, and a little sweet talking, got the still bumbling and nervous boy to spill the information I needed.

Pulling into the drive way of a place that hadn't changed a bit since I'd last been here, I was hit with dozens of memories from our school days that took place in the very home I was about to visit- from casual get-togethers to a disastrous day at the beach. But one memory stood out above them all, a guilty memory that forcefully reminded me why I was here in the first place.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Jade whispered, tugging my hand to get me to run faster.

"It's wrong, Jade!" I hissed back. "We can't just break in and do it in here!"

Jade snorted as we reached our destination. I was pleased to see all the lights were off, even though I already knew no one was home, it still didn't make me feel good about what we were doing.

"It's not breaking in, if you know where the spare key is" Jade muttered, rummaging around in a flower pot until she pulled out the small, silver object. "And stop being such a prude. Beck and I 'do it' here all the time."

"Yeah, great, that's just what I wanted to hear." I grumbled under my breath.

I watched Jade as she brushed the dirt off the key then proceeded to unlock the door, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth in concentration as she wiggled the little object around until a click indicated it had worked. Jade let the RV door swing open with a smirk of triumph before nodding at me to follow her into the dark motor home, slamming said door behind us as soon as I'd stepped in.

It smelt like Beck. The strong odour of boy mixed with his cologne and the scent of the apples that were placed in a fruit bowl over on his makeshift table. Jade flicked the light switch, illuminating his possessions, clothing, the weird collection of objects that looked like they'd been picked up at a retirement home garage sale were scattered around the place and the well made bed that Jade had already sat herself down on, taking off her boots.

"It's not like he's going to jump out of the closet, Vega" The girl remarked when she noticed I was still stood hesitantly by the door, unable to believe I'd actually gone along with this.