ruin me | currently being rewritten

f o u r t e e n

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(A week or so later.)

There was no sign of the Elite or Theo for the rest of the week and before I knew it, it was Saturday

I had woken up to an even more empty house as Anna told me that she's gone out for groceries and supplies, so I decided to investigate the house.

Pulling on my slippers, I wondered around the top floor, my bedroom was in the center, facing the front of the house, directly across the stairs so I had never needed to go elsewhere.

After going round I'd come across, guest room after guest room, scattered across the house, I'd found the cinema room so I took some of the popcorn which I was now munching on.

Fuck, being healthy, death is inevitable anyways, I realized that it's one of the most certain things in ones life, and the bridge that brings class difference, race, ethnicity together, as we all experience death.

I shuddered , as I shook the deep thoughts I let myself fall into, and proceeded to open another door, in the corner of the house.

It looked to be an office. Presumably Arthur Cliffords office, I touched the wooden table worth my finger and looked around the old fashioned design of the room.

I walked round and sat down in the chair as I looked at the table, there was a framed photo, I carefully picked it up, and saw that it was my mother and Arthur, smiling and a baby, that my mother was holding...

I glide my finger over my mother's cheek, and looked at the baby, who was dressed in a blue onesie, I mean, my uncle did visit me apparently, but it also didn't feel like it was me...

I put the photo down and look at the first draw, feeling almost guilty for being nosy, but oh well, the draw was filled to the brim with letters, letters and letters and letters, I pulled one out
and see paragraphs in a cursive font.

My love,
I see you from across the road and my heart aches till the time I can touch you again.

Arthur I have fallen in love with you, hopelessly and irrevocably, I know you reciprocate, when you kissed me at the beach, under the stars, I felt that God himself was giving permission for us to be together. I love you so much, from the little smirks you send my way when no one is looking, to your touch, which makes me shiver, to the time I gave you myself, and our bodies joined.

I can't wait till the next time we meet, which I presume will be soon as we discussed a getaway soon.

Yours truly,
G.K.

I sighed and looked up, to my knowledge Arthur had never got married, so who was G.K. I ran hand through my locks, and pulled out a more crumpled letter, that seemed to be more recent than the other but reread more...

My love...

Please, please reply Arthur, I am beyond desperation, in fact I believe that the appropriate word is that, I'm begging you, answer, I need you now more than ever, however you don't even look my way, you've crushed my heart.

I know you ended it, but I cannot, I cannot quit us. Especially now that I am carrying your child Arthur...

I am going to have your baby, it's my dream, but only with you Arthur.

I'm begging you, don't leave us Arthur.

Yours sincerely,

G.K.

Releasing a ragged breath, did I have a cousin, why did Arthur leave them?

I continued to flick through the letters, and picked out what I thought was the last letter, two weeks after the last letter I had just read, I pulled it out the envelope carefully and saw that it had been ripped to shreds and taped back together. I traced over the rips, before reading the contents as I imagined the feelings running through Arthur, my uncle.

My Love...

It pains me to write this letter however, I am acutely aware that for me, there is no other option. It seems as though, my whole entire life is crashing down, ever since you left me. Mother doesn't speak anymore, she doesn't stand up to father, doesn't smile, doesn't walk, doesn't eat. Whatever your sister confided my mother in before running away, seems to have ruined her, I feel as though I've lost her.

And father has taken mothers fall as a green light to be careless in his abusive ways, he's a monster, and I now realize that he only wanted mother, for her title, he doesn't care for anyone other than himself. I truly despise him, and every slap, every kick, every belittling word he calls me. He now expects me to be betrothed to a stranger and this is my protest.

He calls me selfish, that I have gotten everything I could possibly want, and still not be the daughter worthy of the family name. But he has left me deprived, of any warmth, any hope, any childhood. Perhaps I am selfish, or maybe just desperate.

The only thing that keeps me going... kept me going, was our unborn son, yes our son, you and little Vinny, he hates when I call him that... I fear for him, that once I'm gone, he will be left to fend for himself, he's so young, against that monster, but once more, I'm too selfish, and my Vinny is strong, wiser than his 11 years of life, maybe too wise, he can make it, I... could not.

As for you my love, you, you gave me hope, a hope I never tasted before, you gave possibilities, dreams that are beyond these diamond prison walls, and for that I am forever in gratitude to you, with you I found that I am human, even if you may not reciprocate, you are engraved in my heart, in my soul for all of eternity.

Maybe in another life, one in which everyone and everything isn't so messed up, one in which the whole world hasn't turn against us.... we could be happy.

When you read this, I will be gone...

But I want you to know, don't be sad, I will be happier in wherever we are going after this life, and I'll wait for you with your son, wherever we are, take care of Vin, of everyone, of yourself, live life, for life is beautiful, find love, cherish them. I will watch you from the stars my love...

Yours truly, G.K.

My breath got heavy as I slam the letter back in the draw and find myself vomiting the heaviness of my heart away.

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YALL THEY ARENT RELATED I JUST ACCIDENTALLY MADE THE NAMES SIMILAR

a/n: Well guys, that was v sad and sad to write too, but now we got some mystery running up in here (crowd goes ooooh!). lolol

So I've started school again and I'm disgusted to say the least. Also I'm kind of mid exam year so I give all my technology to my parents during the week (I know I know, its sad but a bitch gotta do what a bitch gotta do) so less uploads :( like twice a week because priorities.

Also love me some Hobo Johnson, like he's just so, ugh wow

Anyways please comment and vote, love ya xx

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