Counting Minutes | Gay MxM |

54. Minus The Schedule

-Blake-

I was worried sick during the first few days after getting rid of Jordan's clocks. I was nearly out of my mind with worry and fear. Jordan was in such a bad state that I was constantly on the verge of bringing the clocks back. But as the days went by, he showed me his true strength. He was slowly getting better by each passing day, and I couldn't have been more proud of him.

It was such a joy to watch him returning back to his old self during the few weeks after the beginning of this all. He was slowly starting to smile again and there were times when he seemed pretty relaxed and calm, and those moments were getting more and more common. And then, when he was finally able to be in his living room again, things started to return back to normal fast.

Well, minus the schedule.

The fact that he was able to stop following his daily plan was beyond amazing. It was horrible to watch him struggle against his OCD, but I knew he would be much happier without it, so I did everything I could to support him. I wished I could've done more for him. Most of the time, I felt powerless and utterly useless every time he was struggling to breathe.

It was safe to say I was relieved when we got over the worst part. At least I wished it was behind us when we started spending more time in the living room. At first, we were just sitting on the couch while Jordan was trying to get used to being back in there. As the days went by, he became strong enough to eat breakfast in the kitchen, and later even lunch and dinner. Then we started watching TV or just talking on the floor, and before I knew it, being in the living room wasn't so scary to Jordan anymore. He even started talking with Mr. Xavier again over the phone.

I was so happy when I watched him go use the toilet without me, and then joining me in the living room. It was pretty early in the morning, so I had dragged our covers on the couch so we could watch some cartoons while eating breakfast. Jordan wasn't comfortable with watching anything else than cartoons, and I didn't mind. I found them entertaining. But then again, I was a big man-child.

He joined me on the couch and I pulled the covers over him while he rested his head on my shoulder. Even his movements were turning more laid-back and relaxed, but I could always see a hint of anxiousness on his face. It never went away, not even when he was smiling. And my God, he looked tired all the time. He had dark circles around his eyes, he was pale, and he had lost a little bit of weight because he wasn't eating well. I was in charge of preparing our food, and I tried to make them rich with vitamins and calories, but the amount he ate wasn't nearly enough...

"What are you staring at?" Jordan asked, and I realized I'd been watching him for quite some time now.

"You," I smiled at him, and kissed his temple. "My amazing, sweet, strong boyfriend."

When he smiled back at me, my heart made a happy little flip. "I look like a mess..." he muttered, but that smile stayed.

"We look like a mess together," I said.