Bad Choices (Hypernaturals 8)

Dicks Two and Three

"Dick Tale Two is different. I propositioned a man I barely knew. Not my normal modus operandi. I was on a long and exhausting trip. Homicide of a politically connected person that had ties back to New York City. The first time I met Rachel in fact, doing research at the Times. The only people I knew in that city I met while traveling. I, therefore, did not know him well, I thought he looked nice. I had not had sex for a while, and I was ready for a quicky. I thought. The guy seemed OK. No stupid lines. Seemed to be fairly intelligent. Showered regularly. All of that. More clean-cut than my normal preference. I am not about 'bad boys' or the Uber macho type Jessica liked, but I prefer a man with longer than average hair and is generally speaking non-conventional. A free thinker. You. He was not any of that but seemed OK. Better than nothing."

"I always envied women for their ability to up and decide they want some sex and then picking a dude out from the lineup. Not even counting Denise and her Vampiric hunting I mean. I knew some guys who could do that too, but that was never me." I lamented.

"Yes, well, the price of that is all the men that hit on you when you do not want that attention." Morgan shot back. "I must have had a sense that something was not right. I get a room, not in my hotel. I wanted separation from my job and my desire for sex. We get undressed and are about to have our one night stand and it turns out that, although not pre-announced, this guy was what the other guy claimed to be. Hugely endowed. I was thinking I was going to need to go really slow. This is when he changed. He figured once I saw that thing I would be his. He was anything but gentle. Not to be too graphic here, but I could not unhinge my jaw enough to deal with it and he was forcing himself in, and I was literally choking. Throwing up during oral sex is not sexy. Trust me on this."

"Shit. Sounds awful." I inserted

"It was horrible, and when it was obvious I was NOT going to let myself keep choking and regurgitating, he immediately goes for vaginal insertion. No preparation. No attempt to get me ready and I was not ready. I have to be sexually excited first. See the woods for details of me being ready. Desire and I moved to different zip codes. I told him 'no'. Unless he had a condom, we were not even going to try that. I did not mention I had a purse full of them, although in retrospect, none of them would have fit. I was done. I told him so. He would not take that for an answer. I left him on the carpet by the bed. It turned out to be somewhat like that time the guy decided to try anal sex without asking, but maybe worse. The worst one-night stand of my life. More like naked Judo, with vomit."

I shook my head in disbelief. "They make that look so fun in porn. Chick picks up a dude. She looks all happy when the big dick is revealed. Sex ensues. Much moaning."

"I can believe the moaning part. Maybe it is fun, if you are used to it, have lubrication and fluffers and other professional things like that. Who knows? Not me."

"Not a problem you currently have." I said.

"Not the point at all. As my only male lover for YEARS I am perfectly adapted to you, and happy with everything you bring to our bed. Tree. Blankets. Wherever. As a human, I dated a great deal. I have been with other well-endowed men. Men with manners. Men who take their time, go slow and understand the issues. This man was not one of those men. That is the point here."

"Understood." I said, slightly chastened.

"Also, your use of the absolute 'never' is inaccurate. As a Vampire, you now can, in fact, have any heterosexual human woman you desire. Not to mention a fair number of Vampire women at the next Conclave. " Morgan was not teasing me. She said that very factually. "Your pheromones and your uniqueness in our world guarantee you never have to sleep alone. You can now engage in sexual congress with a world of women.'