I somehow managed to get to a point where I had done the week's work and felt like I was sitting comfortably enough that I could do absolutely nothing with my time. I'm amazed at what I came up with.
1. Create an exercise regime. Do it vigorously, one time for like an hour. And then never do it again.
2. Relearn bass, and spend all your time serenading the neighbours with poorly played, out of tune renditions of Baba O'Riley and Keep on Rockin' in the Free World.
3. Play hide and seek with your pet rat. She'll inevitably end up under the fridge and you won't find her for like 3 hours until you lure her out with treats.
4. Practise your model walk in 4 inch stilettos. Totter precariously around your apartment until you no longer walk like an ogre/you break a bone or something.
5. Having perfected your model walk, have your own fashion show and model the new dresses you bought online even though you shouldn't have. This is best set to embarrassing David Guetta songs you spent a lot of time picking out on itunes.
6. Drink 1.5 litres of Wild Vines by yourself while watching the baseball game. Time flies!
7. Learn all the words to Stronger by Kanye West in order to prepare for a fictional rap battle.
8. Practise for your future career at a portrait studio by taking photos of your pet rat running around the couch. Try to teach her to pose.
9. Have a nap. For four hours.
10. Paint your nails 10 different colours a la 3rd grade. It will look awesome.
I feel that while I may be procrastinating, I am becoming a more well-rounded person/preparing to star on reality tv.
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The Duchess Lists
HumorI confess, I'm a mid-twenties pseudo-adult with a short attention span and a penchant for self-deprecation. The following stories are real and no names have been changed to protect anyone because really this is just me struggling with adulthood whil...
