Nudes

0.3

ALL YOur ladies pop your ussy like this

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12 DAYS UNTIL THE SUICIDE

I couldn't stop thinking about what his friends had said about me. It sent shivers down my back just knowing that things like that are being said. My parents always taught me about the way I represent myself and how important that is. I wouldn't say my parents are the best role models, but they are all I've ever known.

"Evelyn! Get your ass down here, now!" My mother screams to the top of the stairs. My mom coming home is the worst part of my day. 

She's not the most supportive mother. Sometimes I think she would be so much more happier if she never had me. My mother is very bitter because of the separation with my father, so a lot of the times, she takes it out on me.

When I walk into the kitchen, she's looking through the pile of mail that I brought in today. "Don't leave your stuff on the floor please." I look to the counter next to her that my book bag sat on. I grab it and turn to walk away, but she stops me. "What's been going on with you? Is something going on that you're not telling me about?" 

My mom has never been the affectionate type, so the fact that she asked this caught me off guard.

"No." 

I turn again to walk away, but she says, "Then what's going on? I don't like this change in you."

She's still rummaging through the mail, opening the important ones. She hasn't looked at me once, which showed me she wasn't super invested in the conversation.

"Nothing. Just stressed, that's all." I'm starting to get uncomfortable so I tried to move along the conversation.

"I'm not going to drop this, Evelyn," She warns.

I sigh and hesitate to speak. "Do you ever get tired of being you?"

"Well, sometimes. I'll look in the mirror and get tired of seeing the same person everyday. That's when I touch up my highlights or get my teeth whitened." I don't think she understood my question but she also isn't very good with showing motion.

My mother is very good at hiding how she feels. As she grew up, she was taught to never let the world know you're going through something. Be a woman and take care of it in peace. Things were so much easier back then. It's so different now.

She breaks the silence again. "Do you want to see a stylist this weekend?"

"No."

"I'd much rather you see a counselor."

"No, thank you."

She puts down the mail and focuses her attention on me.

"I just want the old Evelyn back." I see the sympathy in her eyes, but her tone told a different story.

"I am still Evelyn."

"I know, its just...you're not...you."

Before I could stop myself, my book bag was in the floor next to my feet and my voice was raised.

"Stop talking to me like I'm some stranger!" I scream as my back hits against the wall that surrounds our dining room table. My mother's face drops and is replaced with hurt.

The expression that sat on her face nearly broke my heart. I didn't mean to snap at her. I know she's just being a mom and that she wants the best for me. I've never given her enough credit for that.

It's always just been my mother and I. She's all I've ever known. My father left a few months after I was born. I'm not sure about his reasoning or what was happening around that time, but I can imagine how happy my was up until that point. I've snooped through her old storage bins that she keeps her pictures and her scrapbooks in. She was always smiling in the pictures, holding me on her hip or pressing her cheek against mine. Unfortunately, my mom says that all the pictures that were taken after my father left had been lost. I'm not sure whether I believe her or not, but I've never questioned her about it.