Nudes

0.5

11 DAYS UNTIL THE SUICIDE

I sat at my usual table which was in the back of the cafeteria where all the people who don't talk to anyone sit.

I pick at my food, not bothering to eat any. I buy lunch every single day, just to not eat it.

I feel a presence right next to me, then hear the sound of the chair being pulled out. I look over and see Charisma making herself comfortable.

"Hey." She smiled, then took a bite out of her hamburger. "I hope it's okay that I still sat with you."

I just chuckled and signal her that it's fine. I was actually expecting her.

We talked a lot from there. I learned that her parents are divorced, how she lives with her dad, her brother killed himself a few years ago, and she's depressed. Well, she never told me that but I can see it in her dull, blue eyes that lacked so much color...happiness.

Sometimes I wonder if my eyes looked like that, but then again,  I'm not sure anyone would take the time to notice.

When the bell rang, we gave each other a quick hug and headed to our next class, going our separate ways.

I just had two more periods left and the day would be over. I entered my 6th period, drama. I don't why I took this elective but it just seemed like a good idea at the beginning of the year, since I used to love being in the spotlight.

This is the one class I have with Calum. Although, he has no friends in this class too, we still have never talked. I always get nervous about this class, just because I know he notices me.

"Everyone take a seat." Mrs. Crawford screamed and everyone scattered to the first few rows of seats in the auditorium. "So today we are going to be learning about character." Everyone growns because we are always doing pointless excersises instead of actually performing something. "I've had the opportunity to get to know you all individually. To be able to give a solid performance, regardless of what character you are, you may need to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. So, I will assign you all characters that are totally different from your true selves, or at least the character you show me in this class. You will have a full conversation with a partner in your assigned character. Now make a single file line in front of the stage."

Everyone did as they were told while Mrs. Crawford sat on the edge of the stage looking through a pile of cards.

I already know I'm going to hate this activity. I don't want to step out of my comfort zone. I don't know a single person that does. If it wasn't for the grade, then I wouldn't do this at all.

The line went by kinda fast. I finally got up there and she handed me a card. Before I could read it, she tells me to step aside.

"Okay," She says after a few minutes. "You're going to be partnered up with Calum." 

My eyes go wide as my stomach drops to my feet. Of course, I fucking am. Just like the fucking movies. I can feel my palms sweating and my knees are shaking.

He says goodbye to his friends and strides over to me with him hands in him pockets.

"Hello, evelyn." He gives me a small smile but I just stare at him.

"What did you get?" 

He's always so nice to me when he's alone and that kind bothers me. What's the point in putting on this act?

He looked at his card after putting it in his back pocket. "Quiet introvert." He says slowly and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. "Evelyn-"

"Loud, Outgoing, Fearless.."I read off my own card before he could finish. Now I know what Mrs. Crawford thinks of me.

"Evelyn we need to talk." Calum says in a hushed tone.

"There's really nothing to talk about."

"Please."

"Fine, in character." I set the card down on a chair and take a deep breath. I nod, to tell him I'm ready.

Suddenly, his face turned emotionless, cold, maybe even sad. His eyes got dull...just like how Charisma's were.

Maybe my eyes do look like that.

He looks to the floor and speaks quietly."I'm so sorry for what I did to you. You know I didn't mean it. I really did like you. I'm just a horny ass teenager and I ruin every-"

I fix my posture and adjusted my tone."I don't know if i can forgive you yet, but I can tell you that I am willing to push past it. I know that at the end of the day, It was my choice to send that photo." I smiled wide and he cocks his a head a bit in confusion. I forgot I had this side of me that can be happy and can speak my mind.

I turned to walk around, but Calum grabbed my arm. 

He looks at me deep in my eyes and my stomach flutters. I imagine us sharing a sweet kiss that would last forever...with his hands on my face and my arms wrapped around him. I break my thought when I noticed I dropped character.

"Knock, Knock?" I say loudly.

"Who's there?" He smirks.

"Calum."

"Calum who?"

"Calum's Asian." His smile grows but I can't help but sit down and relax.

"This is exhausting." I mumbled, sinking into my chair

"What is?" I peek through my hands and see Calum towering over me.

"Being someone I'm not."

"I know." He sighs and sits in the chair next to me. "And I'm Scottish."

~

fuck you i dont want no ravioli nigga