Suicidal Todoroki x Midoriya | What it Means to Love

5 | Unrequited Requiem of Love

Izuku Midoriya

The haziness of sleep clouds my mind like a dense fog. As I pull my eyelids apart from being tangled within the grogginess of warm slumber, I expect to be greeted by my collection of All Might everything from floor to ceiling, but instead, I feel exceedingly hot and claustrophobic. When I shift around a bit and catch a glimpse of light streaming in through a window nearby, it dawns on me like a Detroit Smash slamming into my face that I haven't left Todoroki's house!

I-I'm still at T-Todoroki's house? I gasp to myself, poking my head out from being buried into a soft yellow pillow. Crap! Mom's gonna be so worried. How do I explain this to Todoroki? Think, Izuku, think! While attempting to sit upright, I catch the rising and falling of something out of the corner of my eye. When I curiously glance over to see what stirred within my field of vision, I stifle a piercing cry when I see a bundle of white and red hair resting terribly close to me.

Whoa, whoa! Umm... What do I do? Sh-Should I wake him up? Sneaking a glance at the sleeping Todoroki, the sense of awareness of my surroundings finally settles in. One of his robust arms is curled around my back. I-I-I never signed up for this! Well, I guess I kind of did when I decided not to leave when it was getting so late, but I just don't know what to say! I-I slept with Shoto Todoroki on a-accident. Yeah, h-how convincing is that?

I can feel my face burning up as I slowly inch my way into an upright position. H-He just looks so at peace now that I can't bring myself to waking him up manually, I tell myself with a sheepish frown. My sweaty palms climb along the back of the couch, groping for fabric to fill my hands and cling to. What are you thinking, Izuku? There's no way anything happened last night, though...right?

Silently praying that I have nothing to worry about, I can feel as Todoroki's body shifts. His fingers start to twitch, curling in like claws and then relaxing back to being mildly outstretched. Rather than the soft look of peace being radiated from him, he scrunches his eyes worryingly.

Although I'm cognizant that I'm literally watching Todoroki sleep, his flickering expressions greatly concern me. If only you'd tell me the truth, Todoroki-kun, I think to myself, feeling immensely guilty for how vulnerable he looks at this moment in time.

Abruptly, his hands menacingly grip the pillow his head is resting on. Calloused and worn, his knuckles turn a faint shade of white the more his grip tightens. Had a pillow not been clutched between his fingers, I question whether or not he would have ended up drawing his own blood from his lethal grasp.

Wake him up! I snarl at myself. "Todoroki-kun!" With meager hope, I lightly shake his arm. When he remains in a cold, dead state of sleep, I'm soon practically throttling his body just to force his eyes open again. "Todoroki-kun!" His fitful expressions jerk between what appears to be pain and something else that I can't quite distinguish.

Akin to an animal being disturbed from its sleep, Todoroki nearly jumps to his feet like a cat and gasps for breath. "M-Midoriya?" It isn't often that I hear him stutter, which contributes to my ever-expanding collection of worries revolving around him.

My face flushes with red now that he's awake and we're both lying on the couch together. "Todoroki-kun, I-I am so, so sorry. I-I didn't mean to fall asleep here, a-and then when I woke up you looked like you w-were having a nightmare. Sorry for being here, sorry for waking you up!" I bow interminably as if my body is being animated to loop back and forth between bowing and rising back up.

You just looked like you needed help, Todoroki-kun. My mind flashes back to the incident with Kacchan, All Might, and the sludge villain. And I wanted to help you... Not just as a friend, but as a hero. Todoroki-kun, it hurts me to see you in pain like this all the time. Don't try to hide it.