Suicidal Todoroki x Midoriya | What it Means to Love

35 | "My heart is yours"

Izuku Midoriya

"Something on your mind?" I finally squeeze the words out from my head and into audible words. "Y-You look like you're lost in thought." He turns his head to face me, and for a moment his eyes look almost inhuman, but the devastatingly ominous look I believed to have seen vanishes in an instant, forcing me to question whether what I saw was an illusion.

Todoroki appears to meander back to reality as he blinks consecutively a few times. "Hmm? It is nothing of importance," he replies distantly, immediately correcting his bitter tone with a sweet, deceitfully charming grin. "Is it not you who is preoccupied by thought?"

He knows me too well, and I don't know how! "W-Well, you're not wrong." He really doesn't want to talk about it, so I won't push it. I shouldn't be this easily deterred from pressing him for information. Still, the last thing I want to do is force him to remember anything he doesn't want to. Whenever I remember all of the harsh, presumptuous things I said to him, it feels like I'm eating a brick of guilt. "Umm, K-Kacchan was asking me why you weren't picking up your phone." I start to unconsciously twiddle my thumbs, although that isn't a shock to me, or Todoroki, by now.

Todoroki seizes his phone from the countertop and opens up his text messages. "I've received nothing of the sort from Bakugou." He proceeds to check his calls and emails. "Nothing."

I reflexively whip out my phone to reply to Kacchan, but I manage to clutch my impulsiveness before it can fasten a collar around my neck. "I guess this works out, then. Shoto, I was planning on visiting Kacchan at the hospital today, and I wanted to know if you were interested in coming with me. You two would also be able to discuss this communication error."

"I accept your offer," he answers without hesitation. "When shall we leave?" Maybe it's just me, but I swear that I detect a tart uneasiness in his slightly rushed voice.

Umm, I don't know! "I mean, if we don't have any plans, then maybe after we've finished eating? I-Is that fine with you?" I don't think we were planning on doing anything special today. Oh! Again, it is December, so I guess we could go to the mall. That actually sounds pretty fun. I could get Shoto a gift and also have some fun with him because he seriously needs more of it in his life. Life is dull without joy, after all. Yeah! What could I get for him? It's kind of impossible to return most of what he's been deprived of. Well, that took a dark turn. Umm... Ah! I've got it!

Todoroki nods. "As long as that is what you want." He brings me into an amiable embrace, pulling his arms into my torso and resting his head on my shoulder. "I would not trade you for the world, Izuku." His warm breath condensing on my neck squeezes my heart like a lime being compressed to wring every last drop of its juices out.

As much as I'm utterly f-flattered to hear you say that, I really don't think that I deserve it, I think to myself while savoring the sweet delicacy known as Todoroki as I advance and cram our lips together again. I hurt you a lot. I-I know I did, even if you won't admit it. So how can I make it up to you...if at all possible? Invigorated by Todoroki's touch and taste, I nearly forget that there are thoughts bouncing about in my head.

"Neither would I, Shoto. I'll do whatever it takes to prove my fidelity to you. So d-don't be afraid to say that what I'm doing is wrong wh-when I act out of line." I momentarily brush my sweaty palms against my pants before slipping them around Todoroki's chest again. "I-I'll take whatever you have to throw at me. Only for you, Shoto." I grin halfway through my last sentence.

Once we've finished eating, the two of us make our way to the hospital. The walk is much too long on foot, so we both purchase tickets at the subway station and board the train when it arrives. We manage to secure a single seat among the cramped, bustling interior of the train, so I end up sitting on Todoroki's lap with quite the flustered expression.