Suicidal Todoroki x Midoriya | What it Means to Love

44 | I'm Not Perfect

Warning:
hardcore gore will be marked when it begins and ends with ⚠️.

Shoto Todoroki

As I re-enter my home with Midoriya taking the lead, he gives a jittering jump while yanking his phone out of his pocket, as if it will detonate within the next three seconds. "Shoto, are you injured anywhere?" he inquires, glancing up at me from the illuminated screen of his phone. His fingers are flying across the keys on the screen at an incredibly average speed. "I-I'm really, really sorry, b-but I can't stay long. I won't just l-leave you here, though. Also, I'd really be happy if you ate something before I get back. That sounded kind of rude, but I swear it wasn't my intention. I promise I'll come back, though! I just d-don't know when."

My vision is still considerably blurry. "You needn't concern yourself over me, Izuku. I've had a handful of time to recover." Less than an hour ago, I was lying unconscious on the floor. "Do not let me prevent you from attending whatever it is you are in dire need of attending."

I still sincerely wish that you would remain here with me. When you are here at my side, I suddenly feel quite warm on the inside. My heart drums like a wave of thunder. It makes the unbearable agony suppressible. It provides me with a reason to believe that living life is perhaps worthwhile, and therefore I should strive to rediscover my purpose. When I am around you, it seems as if I remember how to feel. Yet, something does not feel right.

"I just want to make sure you're r-really okay, Shoto." His trepidatious fingers continue to tap around the lower third of the screen on his phone. "Does your phone work? Is Fuyumi here?" Although I am inept in the field of emotional matters, I can sense Midoriya's harrowing aura practically dripping off of him like droplets of sweat.

But when we part ways and you vanish from my side... "I will send you a text message to ensure that there are no errors at the moment. I highly doubt Fuyumi is still home." I feel so very empty. Even now, knowing that you will inevitably walk until I can no longer see you and your blurring silhouette evanesces into the distance... My heart feels heavy and cold. It feels almost as if I've been submerged in the sea—like I am suffocating, and falling endlessly. "Did you receive my message?"

"Uh! I love you, Izuku." His countenance is flushed with cherry embarrassment. "Sheesh, I'm still blushing just reading that. If anything—anything at all!—happens, please call me, or just l-let me know. I love you, Shoto." He throws his arms around my neck and clutches the top of my head with one hand, and my cheek with the other. I firmly reciprocate his embrace."I love you, I love you. I really do, Shoto." After burying a kiss into my cheek and lips, Midoriya breathes heavily as he reluctantly releases me from his arms, as if the two of us are bidding our farewells for the final time.

If we were interminably locked into a relationship with no escape, I would cherish such a blessing. "Have I informed you that you look like a pure angel when you are as flustered as you are now?" I lightly chuckle at the deep red hue washing over Midoriya's cheeks. "I love you, and nothing will serve to alter that fact."

Midoriya nods awkwardly. "I wanna k-keep telling you how much I love you, but I have to go. Sorry for making this awkward! Anyway, I-I'll definitely come back tonight. Are you sure you're absolutely—"

"I am sure that I am absolutely, positively sure that I am sure that I am fine," I finish before Midoriya can ask me. Certainly this haziness will fade, but this despairing feeling certainly won't. A feeling grinding so deeply that I... No. Perish the thought. I will be fine. I am fine. I was fine. "I suggest that you head out before I am tempted to take you into my arms and never let go."