Crawl Out of Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Sing

Bagsak ako.

I fucking failed my midterm exam in Sepa.

Paulit-ulit kong kinurap ang mga mata ko. Baka lang kasi hindi totoo. Baka namali lang ako ng basa. It remained unchanged, though.

72

For the first time, I got a failed grade in engineering. I expected that I'll have a low score but I sure as hell didn't expect a failed one.

I got out of the room. Wala na akong pakialam kung hindi pa dismissal. I feel like crying. I need to let this frustration out.

Dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa library. Naupo ako sa likod ng European History shelf. Wala kasing tao kaya roon na lang ako naupo sa sahig. I cried silently. Ayoko rin naman kasi na may makarinig o makakita sa akin. This is just so unusual of me. I have always been confident of myself. I know my abilities and I use it wisely.

"Here," I heard someone say and suddenly there's a handkerchief in front of me. Tiningala ko kung sino iyon at nagulat nang makita si Iain.

Bakit siya nandito?

I immediately wiped my tears. Pero parang tanga lang kasi ayaw tumigil.

"Kunin mo na."

Wala ako sa mood makipag talo kaya kinuha ko na lang. Isn't it ironic that the person who's basically responsible for my failure is also the one who's offering me something to wipe my tears? What a fucking irony this situation is.

"Thanks," I said. I may be rude sometimes but I know when to extend gratitude.

Akala ko aalis na siya kasi kinuha ko na 'yong panyo niya pero bigla siyang naupo sa tabi ko.

"Don't you have class?" tanong ko. I'm trying hard not to burst out and lash at him. Kahit pa naguguluhan ako kung bakit bigla na lang niya ulit ako kinakausap... and casually at that.

"I have one."

"Oh, bakit ka nandito?"

"I saw you running a while ago. You're not the type to cut class so I followed you. Curious lang," sagot niya.

"Your curiosity's out of place again."

"I was right that you're crying, though."

Hindi na ako sumagot. Patuloy na lang ako sa pagpupunas ng luha. Kapag nalaman ni Dad na may bagsak akong exam, panigurado papagalitan ako. Kaya lang naman siya pumayag na ibang kurso ang kunin ko kasi may kapalit. Dapat lagi akong pasado. Dapat perfect ako lagi kasi ginusto ko 'to. I also set those expectations for myself but the ones set by my dad bear far greater weight.

"You can open up to me if you want," Iain said.

Right. I can just straight up tell him that I was bothered the whole exam because of him. Pwede kong sabihin na kasalanan niya kung bakit nawalan ako ng focus. I can tell him that because of his stare, I lost my concentration.

"Just go back to your class," I said instead. If I can avoid confronting him, I would.

"I'll stay."

"Balik ka na."

"I'll stay here."

Shit.

"Iain Quin Uvero," I called. I am seriously so close to punching him. I don't think I can pretend that I'm fine any longer.

"Sonia Coraline Tio," tawag niya rin. Ang kulit.

I just rolled my eyes. Siya bahala kung hindi siya aalis.