ALL ACCESS

Chapter 24

Meemaw and I left the hospital within a couple of weeks after the horrible incident, but we weren't allowed to leave Massachusetts while the state gathered their evidence. We cloistered in at the Four Seasons hotel while the investigation continued. While we waited, we shopped for gowns on Newbury Street, and amazingly enough found all that we needed. Even with everything going on nothing could squelch my happiness, well almost.

My Nahant home was a crime scene and I didn't care to return there after what happened. I told James I wanted to sell it. I loved the ocean and New England, but residing here didn't seem to be in the cards for me, and that made me sad. I grew up there. My family was buried there. Jules was there, though her and Derrick were rekindling their romance, so who knew where she'd end up. It made me melancholy to think I finally came back only to leave again, though leaving this time was to be with the love of my life, and to start my own family. I smiled. I knew James - we'd come back to visit.

After giving countless testimonies, along with numerous signed affidavits, Meemaw was cleared of any wrong-doings due to self-defense and we were allowed to leave the state. I couldn't wait to be married. For the first time in forever I was truly happy. Jules would be my maid-of-honor with Robyn and Lisa as my bridesmaids. With the quickness of this wedding one would think it was a shotgun wedding, but that would be further from the truth. With Meemaw's health up for debate and her wanting to be present at it, we needed to move fast.

I'm not sure how they pulled it off, but Meemaw and James' aunts managed to hold a bridal tea party for James and I at the Peabody Hotel. I didn't know most of the people present but James introduced me to them and they were happy for us. To the delight of everyone, the infamous ducks even waddled in. The wedding was to take place in less than two weeks in the garden at James' home. His family planned everything and I didn't mind one bit letting them take the reins. As long as we were together, nothing mattered. It would be an all day and night affair and a day I would never forget.

I would be an August bride. Meemaw's garden was already in full bloom from her many different colored roses to petunias, as well as the trellis draped with mini roses and vinca. It wasn't enough. James' family wanted more flowers, and his younger cousins Trisha and April were going to raid the garden centers and put out around the yard whatever they could find, they were also ordering me red roses and daisies to carry. Mom. It would be rough not having my family here, but they'd be here in spirit and I was surrounded by people who loved me. It was going to be beautiful.

Three days before the wedding, Lisa and Nick flew in from California. Robyn, Greg, Jules and Derrick all came in from Boston and brought a large box with them, the contents of which they refused to tell me. They said it was James' surprise. Hmph. We talked to the hairdresser, who would come to the house and do our makeup as well. Everything was in place. Except for my vows. I didn't have any. James said he had plans but me...I had nothing. As a writer I should've been able to fill pages with beautiful prose about love, but I couldn't. How could I explain the happiness and joy I found in finding my everything?

"I have no words. Why can't I write?"

"Because you're feeling forced to do it, that's why," answered Robyn.

I shook my head in agreement, wishing it wasn't the case. I heard a loud slurping noise from across the room and glanced at Jules, holding her now-empty cup. She leaned against the wall and looked at me.

"Then don't write anything. There's no law that says you must write your vows. Let James do what he's gonna do, then just say what's in your heart."

I scrunched up my face. "You want me to stand there and say, 'You give me goosebumps and butterflies, you always have and always will. I love you?'"