A Flair For The Dramatic

33. six o'clock tears

Beware

Oli's pov

It's been a few days since I've talked to vic. I'm more or less ignoring him. Not because we had sex.. Its a different reason.

When I wake up abrupt for no reason I feel drained. I soon realized why I woke up. I'm crying.. I sit up and look at the time. 6:17 am.. The sob escapes my lips and I feel the a very strong urge to do something.

Paint the walls red?

Learn how to fly?

Eat some candy?

Learn some new rope knots?

I want to kill myself. I want to rip off my skin and be set free. Theres a darkest inside of me that's begging to be released.

I promised I wouldn't hurt myself.. I promised him.. That means I can't break the promise. I punch the wall choking on a sob.  "Fucking hell!" I yell looking at my hand. My knuckles are bleeding and red.

This is going to bruise so much. I cough not being able to breathe. I slide down my wall gripping my hair tightly. I bottled this up for too long and now this episode is killing me.

I'm shaking so bad I was to have control over myself but its impossible. I cant stop the sobbing of the groan that leaves my lips and I try to swallow my sobs. When my door opens I only curl more up into a ball.

I'm pathetically crying and every breath I take hurts and its jagged. "I-its okay, Oli," a sweet but worried voice says. He's trying to get me to stop pulling my hair.

That's easier said than done, it's like I have no control over myself. "Let go, your hurting yourself," kellin tries to convince me by touching my hand but I flinch.

He stops and I finally open my eyes and look at him. "Hey, how about you let go of your hair?" He asks softly and I feel his calmness relaxing. I slowly remove my hands from my hair and he takes my hands.

I hiccup a sob out but try to breath as I watch him look at my knuckles. "How about you get on your bed? It might be easier to breathe instead of down here curled up," he says now standing up holding my hands.

I get up but I'm still shaking ind making a bloody fool out of myself. I sit on the edge of my bed and put my face in my hands. He sits next to me and rubs my back as I cry.

"What happened?" He asks.

"I-its November first," I cry into my hands muffling it. We sit in silence; well it's not exactly silent as I struggle to breath.

When I start to control my breathing I remove my hands and wipe my tears away only to have more slide down my face.  I clear my throat and sniffle a little. I take in a few deep breaths and then look at him.

He looks so.. respectful? Can someone look respectful? He's being really patient and understanding. I sigh and he opens his arms for a hug. I turn to him completely and hug him.

I hug him so desperate I pull him into my lap and probably crush the poor boy. He makes a very cute sound of discomfort as I crush him. I loosen up and sigh once again and I rest my chin on his shoulder as we hug.

"M-my boyfriend got into a motorcycle accident.. I-it was 3 years ago t-today.." I mumble and he nuzzles his face into my neck. When I was 21 my boyfriend of 4 years died.

"I obviously dont know him but he must have been very special. I'm sorry that he died so young," he tells me in almost a whisper.

"H-he-" I choke on my words and hug him firmly. If I wasn't so sad and hurt I would find pleasure out of this. As our chests are together he's straddling my hip and like almost every other time I've seen him he's wearing a overcoat long sleeve shirt and no pants.

His shirt is a dark red color and his tight spandex shorts are black but I can only see them before I must have actually pulled up his shirt as I was squeezing him to death.

"He really was," I mumble and I loosen my grip even more and he leans back looking at my face. He searches my face with his beautiful blueish eyes. He looks tired.. wait, did I wake him up?

"Did I wake you up?" I ask and he shakes his head no.

"No I stayed up all night reading and I was planning on sleeping all day. I only just layed down when I heard a thud so I came to investigate and then I heard you.. I hope you dont mind me just bursting in," he says shyly.

"Its okay, you really are helping me calm down," I say and he smiles faintly.

I move my hands for a second to make sure I can still move them. In my dreams I loose feeling in my hands and then my full body and I'm paralyzed. However when I move my hands I realize where they are a second after kellin does because his eyes go wide and a blush appears across his face.

"Oh, sorry I didn't realize.." I trail off. I didn't realize my hands were on your ass. Is that what I was about to tell him? I move my hands to his waist and he blushes more.

"I-I know you upset and it rude to leave a upset person but in about to fall asleep," he laughs nervously. He then looks at my bed briefly.

"How about you sleep in my bed? I don't want to be alone.." I mumble the last part. He nods a little getting off of my lay and then crawls the few feet to were the pillows are. I get back in bed next to where he's getting under the blankets and I lay on my back and look at the ceiling as he gets comfortable.

I can't sleep or I'll have nightmares so laying on my back is the best thing I can do because it rests my body a little and it's harder to fall asleep in this position.

Kellins facing away from me but he's still cute to look at.

Do you know who Oli dated?

24 year old Oli with 17 year old kellin;)

Daddy?

Master?

Sir?

Theories?

Thoughts?

Opinions?

Facts?