Only Way Out

Chapter 27 Reddit into Reality

I honestly never thought it would happen but it did. It bloody fucking did. The worst shopping trip I've ever had in my entire life. I should have never worn neil's polo shirt but my clothes were dirty and did need a wash. Plus I thought I could help everyone out by buying food for everyone since we were staying at the vacation home for a month. Sal ash and travis joined me but that still didn't stop this Karen. If she was nicer then I would have helped her but that's not the point. I guess since this is similar to reddit, I might as well put it in a reddit style right?

Here's our cast: me, EM, Sal (aka my hero), travis (dumbass hero), and ash (angry hero), manager, security guard,

It was a Sunday evening around 2 PM or so. Travis Sal ash and I went to the local Walmart. Things were all good until we decide to split the list to make the trip go by faster. I'm not the greatest in splitting up in public but I was in a good mood and I thought I could do it. What a clown I was. Travis went for the frozen foods. Ash went for the lunchables and meats. Sal went for the canned goods. And I went for the snacks. Everything seemed good so far. Get the chips. Get the dip. Get the snack. You can do this. Everything is ok. That is until the EM showed up. She looked to be an ugly fart of a woman who was in her 30s. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had a kid in the cart who looked way to old to be sitting in the baby seat.
"Excuse me" EM asked
I didn't really answer because I was focused on my task at hand. Plus I thought she was talking to someone els. The EM's voice gets angry and firm.
"Excuse me!!" She semi yells.
I still don't answer because I'm still focusing on my part of the list. Em then grabs my shoulder. I jump a bit and drop some of my items.
"Sorry sorry" I say picking them up.
"Ugh how rude. I was standing here for 10 minutes trying to get your attention. And take off that mask. Store employees should show their face to the world" the EM says.
"Yeah take it off. I want it and that tubing. It looks fun!" the kid says.
"Yes give it to my child. Your way to old to have a kids mask anyway! And that tubing looks silly on you. my son would love to have it. Now!" the EM says
"Uh uh m ma'am this is a pr prosth-" I say stuttering a bit.
"I don't care give it to my child and help me find this item now!" EM says
"I I don't work-"
"yes you do!! Now give me that mask and tubing now or I will contact your manager! I know who works here and he will have you fired!" EM screams. I start to tear up.
"I I I" I stutter.
"I I I I! Ugh stop it already and take off that mask now! Same with the tubing!"
I start crying but take off the mask hoping it'll make her leave.
"EW! What kind of horrible creature are you?? Why would this store hire someone like you!! No wonder you only stock shelves!" EM screams.
"MOMMY GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!" The kid starts crying.
"Get me your manager now. He'll fire you for scaring my baby! And he'll make sure you give me that tubing and mask to!" EM says
"Hey! Is there a problem here??" Ash says
"Yes! This hideous employee scared my baby! She stole my sons mask and acted like a monster to scare him off. I want him fired now! And I want the tubing as compensation for scaring my angel!!" EM screams. I am just bawling as all of my items are on the floor. I'm shaking and semi starting to go into a schizophrenic attack.
"Uh one lady he ain't got no titties. 2: that tubing has been stuck so far up his nose that blood and snot would come out with it. Nasty bleh. And 3 that's his mask" travis says coming up from behind ash.
"Yeah and he doesn't work here either he's a customer like you dumbass" ash says
"Ugh rude! She clearly is a female and she is wearing a store shirt! I want the manager now!" EM screams. Her child then proceeds to grab items from their cart and throw them at me. This causes me to fall to the floor curl up and bawl my eyes out. All of a sudden my other hero comes up.
"Hey! Stop throwing items at him!" Sal says running up to me. "It's ok Larry I'm here" he says petting my hair trying to calm me down.
"I want the manager!!!" Em says whole throwing a fit and throwing items at the four of us. Ash has enough of it and throws a can of food at her. The EM gasps.
"POLICE!! I NEED A POLICE I'M BEING HARASSED!!" The EM screams
Finally a manager pops up with a security guard
"What seems to be the problem here?" He asks
"She stole my baby's mask after I asked politely where the low fat milk was. Then she proceeded to growl at him like a monster which made my baby cry. Then she hit me with a can of food and the other three joined in and harassed me and my poor baby. I want them escorted out now!! I want her fired!! And I want the mask back along with the tubing for compensation now!!!" Em says then points at me.
"Ma'am is this tru- uh is she ok?" The manager says concerned.
"No he's not ok. This lady put him into a schizophrenic attack. I need to calm him down before we start can explain things." Sal says.
"He's lying!! She's faking it to not get into trouble!" The em says.
"Hey doesn't this place have security tapes?" Ash suggests.
"Yes actually is does. Can you all come with me?" The manager asks. but the em me and the kid nod in agreement. The kid starts throwing another kit and the em just turns white.
"Uh actually there's no need for that. I'll just find the milk myself" she says.
"No ma'am you're coming with us" the security guard asks.
"It might take me a bit I need to calm him down. Shhh Larry it's ok I'm here listen for me. Listen to my voice not the others." Sal says. Travis gets out my music box that plays La Vie En Rose and starts playing it. This make me snap out of it.
"H huh? Oh god did it happen again?..." I ask.
"Sir or ma'am we need you to come with us" the security guard asks. I start to tear up.
"W what did I do?" I ask
"Shh it's ok we just need to prove you're innocent" Sal says
"Yeah it's ok we got you covered dude" ash says
"It's ok. You wan a nana they're free for people shopping" travis says. I nod grab it and start eating it.
"I want a banana!!" The kid screams.
Eventually we all go and watch the security tapes which show what really happened.
"Their not real! That's not true he scared my baby he should be fired!!" Em screams
"Lady he doesn't work here. He's a customer" the manager says. Em finally gets the picture and turns white as a ghost.
"I want the mask! I want a banana! I want it!!" The kid screams.
"N not now sweetie" the em says.
"Would you like to press charges sir?" The manager asks me.
"Yes please for I am still a minor" I say.
"In that case it will not have to go to court." The manager says then looks at em "you will be either fined or put in jail depending on what the court says"
The em tries to make a run for it but the security guard catches her.
"I AM A SINGLE MOTHER!! THIS IS UNCALLED FOR!! I WILL GET THIS STORE SHUT DOWN!! REEEEEEEE!" The em says screaming her head off. The manager takes us out of the room and keeps the security guard in there with the child and EM.
"Please buy whatever you want in the store it's on the house for me I'll be waiting by the security checks to tell them that you guys don't have to pay for the items. I apologize for all of this and I hope you have a wonderful day" the manager says. Travis hugs him.
"Thank you!!" He says. We then get a few more items and a comfort item for me. The EM got escorted out by the police and the child went home with his very embarrassed father. Then we finally head back home. Man this vacation has been an interesting one so far.