Killer attitude//Ruel

Chapter 20: ready

She wraps her arms around her and hugs me tightly. I hug her back before she pulls away.

"I'm sorry- You should have told me Ruel!" She consoles.

"I'm guessing Kayla told you. What was I expecting-" I chuckle.

I'm glad she told him, now it saves me from that burden.

"Yes- that's what you meant by you saying you were uh d-dying. I'm here for you- you know!" She says sternly.

"Thankyou Princess. I wasn't expecting to get so close to you." I smile slightly.

"I'm glad we did because you've made my life so much better. I love you." She shyly smiles.

"Madi you can't-" I cup her face.
"I'm not going to survive." I whisper to her.

"No- just like grace. I believe in you!" She lightly kisses me.

"Madi I'm not doing chemotherapy like grace is." I breathe out.

"Why not?" She looks up at me curiously.

"There's no point- it's just going to give hope that I will survive but I know it's not true." I reply.

She pulls away from my grasp.

"How do you know?! You haven't tried it!" She blubbers.

-Madi's POV-

"I just know Madi- there's no point fighting it. I rather just know I'll die and die happily." He goes to smile but I flash him a frown and he stops himself.

"There's no such thing as a happy death Ruel. What do you have to lose?!" I stop myself from crying.

My first love is telling me to my face that he gives up on living. That he'd rather die without trying every possible option to survive. First Grace now Ruel. I didn't want to burst into tears like I did when Kayla told me about this. I understand why he kept a secret but I thought we were closer than keeping such things.

"Madi I just want to leave without hurting people too much. It was a mistake to get so close to you and the girls. Now that's more people to add to my mourning list and I fucking hate that list." His voice cracks half way.

He was getting upset by this. By my confrontation but I wanted to convince him to take chemotherapy. I wanted to believe in this strand of hope we have left.

"You might not that mourn list if you grab a hold of that one strand of hope in chemotherapy. Just try it!" I almost beg.

"Madi I've already-"

"You are so selfish Ruel Van Dijk! We know now. You are added to that stupid mourn list- either way we are here. If you d-d-die, yes we will mourn you-" I burst into tears but try pull myself together.

"Mad-"

"I'm not done. And if you decide to do chemo and it works. We will be here and we'll celebrate your victory- our victory! It sucks knowing you are willing to leave me, yours friends and family without trying." I cut him up and a few more years roll down my face.

"Princess-" he wipes my cheeks and hugs me.

"Please Ruel for me and if that's not enough for-"

"I will do it- I'll take chemo!" He cuts me off.

I hug him tighter and kiss him. He cups my face and he leans down and I wrap my arms around his neck. The kiss was different when ones we've shared previously- it was just more heartfelt and compassionate.

"Madi I love you too." He says against my lips.

It made my heart melt, hearing him saying it for the first time. He wasn't scared anymore! Now we could be completely honest with each other.

"Ruel I want to tell you something. This afternoon meet me at Haven street ." I smile.

He nods and he holds my hand. I look at him and he looks at me.

"Thankyou!" I say.

"For?" He raises an eyebrow.

"For not giving up so easily." I smile back.

He smiles and kisses my cheek.

-afterschool-

I arrived at home and got dressed.

I walk back to Haven street to meet Ruel. I lean against the tall oak tree on the corner street house.

"You look cute!" I hear someone whisper into my ear.

I look beside me and Ruel leaning besides me against the tree.

"I didn't even see you walk here." I smile.

"I'm a ninja baby!" He jokes and laughs at himself.

I giggle and hold his hand. I pull him to the one place I truly hated. I was ready to tell him.

What will happen next?