BROKEN

SEEKING FREEDOM

*Edited*

   I went to my room feeling like I just secured a huge contract. I loved and admired the necklace very much, wore it all the time and soon forgot about the one my dad gave me. Shola and I became closer than ever and slowly, I began to turn deaf ears to the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me to stop this madness.

First semester examination came quickly and we decided to meet in the faculty building to study overnight. The faculty building was always open for students to study throughout the night before and during the examinations. On one of the nights that we met to study at the faculty, I felt Shola's hand on my thigh where we sat.

"What??! What do you take me for," I shouted at him. I told him to stop as I stood up angrily.
"I'm so sorry, Jane. I didn't know what came over me," he said, with crocodile tears dropping from his eyes.
"No, you are not sorry, but you will be," I said as I removed his necklace and threw it at his face.
I walked away from him angrily and ran out of the classroom were we sat but Shola ran after me begging with tears in his eyes. After a while, I finally stopped to listen to him. He went on his knees and begged.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't know you won't like it," he said.
"Like it? No, I don't like it. Do you plan to use me?"
"No, I don't plan to use you. I love you and I really care about you. I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Shola. I'm sorry for screaming at you; it's just that I don't want to disappoint my Father in heaven," He pulled me closer for a hug and before I knew it, the necklace was back on my neck.

I thought Shola wasn't going to try touching me ever again with all the act he put up but I was deceiving myself. Shola didn't stop and I couldn't stop him either. I just couldn't resist him no matter how hard I tried. I knew this relationship was wrong. I knew this guy did not love me but I couldn't get out of it. Sometimes, I would resist making out with him but at other times I didn't, so he took me for a joke. Every time I told him we needed to stop all this, he thought I was just being a lady, not that I didn't like it. It got to a point that Shola couldn't do without trying to make out with me. The relationship became toxic and I wanted to get out of it. All of my "let's put an end to this relationship" and "let's stop all this" ended in a long kiss. It never came to an end. I knew he didn't love me. I wanted to end it but how? We went on and on.

After another make out session, I went to my room and cried to God in prayer. I was so ashamed to approach God but I still managed to do so as I had nowhere to run to. I felt dirty, filthy and guilty.

"God, I know this is wrong and I know I didn't listen to You, but I want this to be over. Please help me," I cried to God until I fell asleep. That night, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "I have waited for You to come back to Me. The day you remove the necklace he gave you is the day you will experience freedom." I woke up knowing that God heard me and I heard him, too. I didn't ask what was in the necklace. I simply obeyed, removed it and wore the one my dad gave me.

My freedom didn't take time as Shola started to get angry and irritated with everything I did. He hated that I wasn't wearing his necklace anymore and wanted it back but I wasn't ready to return the necklace because the Holy Spirit did not tell me to do so. Shola threatened to hit me at the slightest provocation. I didn't bulge until he decided to call off the relationship himself. After a while, he wanted us to still come back together but I said to myself, "He whom the Son has set free is free indeed" (John 8:36).

I thought it was over with him but it wasn't. I started to receive threat messages from Shola. One day, I woke up to 15 new messages from him and when I opened my phone to check, here's what I saw:

"I wished I had sex with you when I had the opportunity."
"Don't think you have escaped, virgin Jane."
"I'm not going to stop until I get you."
"If you know what's good for you, return the necklace or wear it back."
"Watch your back, bitch."

I was so scared when I read the messages. This was someone I once thought loved and cared about me. Once again, the Holy Spirit was right. I showed my friend the messages he sent and he promised to help me stop Shola from threatening me. I don't know what he did but I never heard from Shola again and even when I did, it was either a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year."