Bitter Sweet Christmas

01:Last Christmas

To go with a cruel world you needed cruel people.
When you're little, you were never told that there would be people in the world who didn't care about breaking your heart or hurting you. They never told you that these people sometimes were the ones we loved most. Well, at least we thought we did.

When I was little, they didn't tell me that there was such thing as a heartless person. I believed everyone had a heart. But, sadly, sooner or later I had to eventually learn that what I thought for those first few years of life was wrong. I learned that those kind of people just had something beating in their chest, keeping them alive. Something that certainly wasn't a heart.

People like this ruined things that were precious in your life. Things that meant a lot to you like, Christmas. But they didn't care. No, no they didn't. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that they did; they didn't.

*
It was Christmas morning when I waited outside in the cold for that one person. The only one I had been looking forward to seeing all morning long. I stood there shivering in the snow, as I looked at the road for his car. I remember this day as if it just happened yesterday. I remember every detail and every word said in that day.

"Char, please come in," my mom begged for what seemed like the 30th time. "It's 30 degrees out. You're going to get sick."

"Just a couple more minutes, Ma." I replied, wrapping my arms around my body. "He's late but he's coming."

"Then you can wait for him inside, Charlotte. You're going to freeze out here. Your cousins are waiting for you." She ordered. Sighing in defeat, I walked back inside where I was welcomed with the warm air and the smell of cinnamon.

"Look who decided to finally join us." my aunt smiled. She came up to me and cupped her hands over my cheeks. "You're ice cold, Charlotte. Let's get you some hot chocolate."

As I drank the hot chocolate, she asked about him. Him. I can't even mention his name because the sound of it makes me want to throw up at how disgusting the person who owned it was and cry at the same time. She had reassured me that he was probably just late. At that time, I had to convince myself every now and then that he was but at that point I was losing all hope.

"Who's up for our annual movie?" she asked as we stared up at her from our seats. We were all now in the living room, sitting on the couches just talking.

"I am!" all the kids shouted. I smiled and glanced at the door, still hoping that after 3 hours of waiting, he'd finally show up.

"Who's turn is it this year to pick?" she asked.

"Can't we just wait a little longer?" I asked quietly.

"Charlotte." she said with a sympathetic look. I still looked up at her with an expression of hope. "He's not coming." She had told me this for the thousandth time but I still refused to believe it. He is coming. He's just really really late. As I opened my mouth to say something, the door bell rang. I jumped out of my seat and smiled.

"See it's him." she smiled as I ran towards the door. I quickly swung it open to see him standing there.

"Jack!" I shouted as I ran to hug him. "Come in it must be freezing cold out here."

I gestured for him to come in but he just shook his head. "Can I talk to you outside?" he asked.

"Sure." I replied shutting the door behind me. "What is it?" He continued to look at the ground with his hands in his pockets.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He looked up at me with a pained look in his eye.

"Look, Charlotte. I know how much you love Christmas but I found this was the best time to do this." He started as he continued to look down and kick rocks.

"Cant we talk after the movie my fam-"

"Charlotte, I'm breaking up with you." he blurted out. All I could do was look up at him with wide eyes unable to show any kind of emotion.

"W-why?" I stuttered, biting my bottom lip to keep from crying.

"I just. I lost feelings for you." he answered.

"J-Jack." my lip quivered as tears built up in my eyes.

"I don't love you anymore." he replied with a straight face. I didn't know what to feel. My heart was shattered and all I wanted to do was cry yet it took everything I had not to punch him in the face. But of course the angry side of me took over.

"How dare you." I walked closer to him.
"You come here- 3 hours late! And then you sit here and break up with me? And on Christmas! You know how much I love this day! You know how much I love you!

"You are a heartless person, Jack! And I will never, ever forgive you." I hit his chest with my finger as I yelled. He kept repeating my name countless of times but I didn't listen. I yelled and I yelled until I couldn't no more. Until the tears took over my ability to speak and I just stood there with mascara rolling freely down my cheeks and crying.

"Why?" I continually asked over and over again but he couldn't seem to find the answer.

"I'm sorry." he apologized but I knew he didn't mean it. He didn't mean anything he ever said to me. He was a liar and liars never changed. Not even for someone they loved. Or at least they say they did. I walked inside, wiping my cheeks with the sleeves of my sweater. I didn't care that there were black stains . I didn't care anymore.

"Honey, what happened?" my mom came up to me hugging me as I sobbed into her shoulder.

"He broke up with me." I said calmly. "On my favorite day, too." The tears came rolling down again.

After a couple of minutes of crying she had sat me down on the couch in between her and my dad. "Do you want to choose the movie?" she asked, sympathetically. "We can watch your favorite one. The one with the grinch." she smiled and I shook my head.

"Not in the mood." I mumbled as I sat back, hugging the couch pillow.

That day I didn't light up like I always did. I didn't smile when I got the thing I had been dying to get since the beginning of the year. I definitely did not smile when the present I had gotten for Jack was found under the tree.

That night I remember laying down in my bed, just staring at the roof. I fumbled with my fingers as I thought about him. He didn't deserve love but it took everything I had not to love him. To convince myself that he wasn't worth it. I was a fool.

But I knew deep down in my heart that if he kissed me again, I would melt right back into his arms and he'd fool me again.