Bitter Sweet Christmas

16: Maps that Lead to Love

Who knew that over a year later, I'd be in the same place I started. Here I was around this time last year exactly, in my room crying into my pillow. It wasn't the fact that he probably broke my heart over again. It was that it broke my heart when he came back a year later, finally feeling bad for what he'd done and tried to make things right. Yet, I had to break his heart this time. While in the process of breaking my own as well, I guess. I stared at the wall by the foot of my bed as I lied on the headboard, clutching onto my pillow tightly. I sniffled before reaching for another tissue.

Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe we just really are made to go down separate paths. But, maybe some day in forever we'd meet again and maybe that day it'll finally work between us. Until then, I had to worry about now. Now as in Logan. Who hadn't talked to me in 3 days. Yes, 3 days. There were certain things you don't do to a girl and that's one of them:

Things you don't do to a girl:
1. Tell them they're fat
2. Point out their flaws
3. Kiss them then not talk to them for 3 days

Right there smack at number 3.

**
Crying made you tired. When you're tired, you fall asleep. Sleeping was what led me to waking up with 6 missed calls and 5 voicemails all from the person with the 5 letter name. Logan.

I slid my finger across the cold screen and held the phone close enough to my ear to hear the words.

"Hey, Char. I know we haven't talked in a couple of days. I'm sorry about that. I just needed time to think about something. Anyways. I wanted to talk to you about something. Wanna meet up at the park by your house? Um- call me back I guess. Bye..."

"You know what? I'll just meet you at your house and we could like walk from there I guess. Okay bye."

"Wait you didn't even agree" Insert nervous laugh. "Call me back. okay I'll stop bugging you bye."

"Charlotte, this is kind of important and I'm not sure if you're ignoring me because you're mad or you're just just busy or just not getting my calls. I'm gonna walk over there I guess. Okay bye."

"You know what Charlotte? Wait- I didn't mean to start like- Agh. I gotta start this all over- where's the button to restart this? Never mind that. Charlotte, I guess you haven't made up your mind or at least from what I saw, you have. Have a nice life with your beloved Jerk. I mean Jack. I'm done with you. Let me know when you've made your choice."

My heart was racing and I felt warm. How did I not hear these calls? And what was he talking about? I didn't do- oh. Oh. Oh. Jack, I thought. I groaned as I slammed my face with a pillow. He said he was going to pass by the house. But, I didn't think- Ugh.

I quickly threw on warm clothes. Just as I was about to turn the door knob my hand hovered over, the thought came to my mind. Where in the world would he be? As quick as I could, I replayed whatever I could remember of the voicemails. He was coming to my house, meeting at the-

I ran downstairs, two steps at a time. My feet were moving too fast for the rest of my body. My vision was becoming a blurry mess as I looked down at the stairs I was walking- no running- on. At this point, I could fall any minute and that would most likely be the death of me. Once I reached the bottom, I ran out the door and quickly headed toward the park. The snow made the ground completely slippery and I tried all I could not to slip and crack my head open. That would be very unfortunate.

The park was within my neighborhood so it wasn't that far. But, it felt like it took forever. My body was freezing and I couldn't think straight. Why did he have to do this today?