Bitter Sweet Christmas

09: Santa Tell Me

"Hey Logan." I spoke into the phone. It was now Thursday and we had no school yet again. Since most schools were out, my cousins decided to have a little Christmas party with just the teenagers and kids. We all agreed they could bring a couple of friends and decided to have it at our house. Taking advantage of the party, all of our parents used this time to finish up some Christmas shopping.

"Morning, Charlotte." he replied in a raspy voice. Of course, lazy Logan just woke up. "Is there any reason you are calling me at eight a.m.?"

"Why yes there is." I replied in a sweet voice. "We are having a Christmas party with just the children of my family and we all are allowed to invite some friends which means I am inviting you, my one and only special friend." On the other line I heard him laughing and I couldn't help but laugh myself.

"Why yes, my darling friend. Where is this party of yours?" he copied my tone.

"At my house, special friend."

"Well I shall be there, darling." he answered. "But I mustn't leave without asking you of this."

"And that is?"

"What time does it start?" he returned to his normal voice. Through my laughing fit I struggled to answer him. Once we were done talking, I hung up and went to my closet to choose an outfit. After a lovely 20 minutes of standing there, convincing myself that I had no clothes to wear, I chose a sweater, a random pair of jeans, boots and a scarf. I quickly put everything on and went into the rest room to flat iron my unfortunately frizzy hair.

*
"I am ready!" I announced at 9:21 am. Making my grand entrance into the living room, I stopped at the end of the stairs and dramatically posed. That earned a couple of laughs from my mom and two cousins. I walked into the kitchen finally and helped set up the snacks for all of our guests. Around this time, all of my cousins were showing up in order to help clean and prepare everything. As we prepared, we listened to Christmas music and danced as we cooked and cleaned. Everyone was so happy and it felt so great. I hope the party would be just as fun or maybe even a bit more.

*
"This is Sadie and that's Joe." my cousin introduced me to her friends. I shook each of their hands and we talked for a little while until I heard the bell ring.

"I'll get it." I excused myself and walked to the door.

"Logan!" I yelled and gave him a hug. "Glad you made it. Come in the living room with us. Almost everybody is here. We're just expecting like a couple more of my cousins' friends." As soon as we got into the living room, I introduced him to my cousins and their friends that I had already met.

After he met almost everybody, I took him to a group of boys made up mostly of my cousins and a couple of their friends. Plus, Seth. Walking up to them, we pushed our way into the group and I stood next to Seth and Logan.

"Sorry to interrupt but, this is my friend, Logan."

"Hey Logan, glad you made it." Seth said and they all greeted him and shook his hand.

"So you're Charlotte's friend?" one of them asked. He nodded his head.

"Are you sure he's 'just a friend'" another joked- which was my cousin - and I punched him in the arm. He continued to laugh and wrapped one arm around me, pulling me into a side hug. "I'm just joking with you, Char." I looked over at Logan who's cheeks were a light shade of pink and I laughed.

"That's our little sensitive Charlotte." he said, rubbing his knuckles on the top of my head, messing up my hair. I pushed him away as he did that and tried not to laugh.

"I am not sensitive." I argued.

"She's defensive too." Seth added and they all laughed.

"Whatever, Seth." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

*
After our conversation, Logan stayed with the boys and I went to talk with the girls. Here I was now, 2 hours later, sitting on the couch and talking to my cousin Savannah.

"Did you invite anybody?" I asked. Savannah was the oldest one here since she was 20. Yeah, we were having a 19 and younger party but a party thrown by our family didn't feel complete without her here.

"Just my boyfriend." she replied. She pointed over to her boyfriend who was standing in the group of guys, laughing. He looked over at her and smiled as he did a little wave. "How about you, little Charlotte? Any boys in your life?"

"Well, not really, I guess." I answered. "I don't have a boyfriend. But I do have a close friend that happens to be a guy."

"But, remember Jack?" She nodded. Of course she knew Jack. He was somewhat close to our family and she was here on Christmas Day. All of them were. "Well. He left our school after but he came back a while ago and now he constantly keeps bugging me about how he wants me back and that he feels guilty about what happened. Yet, I don't know if I should believe him or trust him again." She sat there and listened as I explained. I really needed to get this off of my chest and I was thankful it was Savannah who was by my side.

"I think it's best for you to move on, Charlotte. Isn't there anyone else out there? Personally, I'm not sure Jack is the best person for you."

"I'm not sure there really is anyone anymore." I replied.

"What about Logan?" she asked. "He seemed like a nice guy when I met him. It looks like he really cares about you."

"No. Were just friends. Plus, im pretty sure there's someone else."

"I'm not so sure about that." she slightly pointed her finger over in his direction and I looked up at him. My eyes immediately met his and he looked down at his feet with wide eyes. From here, I was able to tell he was blushing and I smiled.

"I never really thought about that."

"Well, now you should." She stood up. "Want anything to drink?" I shook my head and she walked off to the table with the drinks.

I looked over at Logan. It had never really crossed my mind that I might actually like Logan. He did seem to care about me but what if that girl actually wasn't me?

This year I had to be smart. I couldn't convince myself that I liked him or that I was falling in love until I knew this was true. I didn't want another broken heart on Christmas Day this year. But, it was hard to focus on convincing myself that I didn't like him. Seeing him across the room just smiling made me feel butterflies in my stomach that I never had before. No matter what, I can't fall for him just yet.

As I sat there, the music continued and a new song came out. Let it snow was now blasting and people were just dancing around and laughing. Everyone looked like they were having such a great time and it warmed my heart to see so many smiles around the room. I looked over to see what the guys were doing and they were all telling Logan something. He kept shaking his head and Seth nudged him with his elbow. All of them split up and each went up to a girl and came to the floor to start dancing with them. Logan was nowhere in sight so I figured he went up to some other girl. Until, I heard someone clear their throat. I looked over to my left to see Logan standing there. He scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah?" I smiled. He stood there for a couple of seconds before holding his hand out.

"Do you- would you like to-"

"I would love to." I stood up and grabbed his hand. We walked over to middle of the floor and started dancing.

After the song finished, one of those slow Christmas songs came on and I wrapped my arms around him as we danced slowly.

"You know. I still have to get your Christmas present." he said, looking into my eyes.

"Oh yeah?" I replied. He nodded his head.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Surprise me."

"Will do." he finished and we continued to dance without talking to each other, enjoying these moments.

All I really wanted for Christmas was someone who wouldn't leave again. I didn't want to fall in love unless they really cared about me. But, from the looks of it, I think Christmas came a little early.