chapter 11

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Jin sank into the seat of the sedan as it pulled away, glad that this was not his regular car. 

Somehow, he convinced himself that the memory of this night would be as fleeting as his memory of the car's interior color or the make and model.  He pretended he could leave these feelings and emotions behind, like a umbrella- important at the time, but easily forgotten if left behind.

Pretending that gave him comfort for the brief ride, his head resting against the window.

The city streets and bright lights became a blur as he tried to block out the memories of today, of her smile at Jimin, of the way her body had responded to him, the way she had looked when he left her.

He slammed his fist into his thigh and cursed.  He texted his house staff and told them to have a bottle of whiskey ready for him and that they were to leave for the evening.

Jin cursed again as he entered his home.

He grabbed the bottle of whiskey, pretty sure one was not going to be enough, and headed to his home office.

For the first couple of hours Jin buried himself in work.  He made several decisions about the coming weeks that left him cursing himself as a coward.  In the end he felt it was the only way he could protect himself.

He sent out a series of emails and texted those closest to him.  He saved the hardest for last.

He picked up his phone to see that Dae had called several times.  She had left him a series of texts, each more desperate than the last. 

For a moment Jin hesitated, wanting to tell her it was ok, wanting to go back and hold her. 

“Not this time,” he whispered.   He sent her a text and turned off his phone.

That decision made, Jin opened the bottle and began to sip the whiskey.  He intended to get blind drunk.  Maybe that would help.

Truth was that Jin sat in the dark staring out over the city, only sipping one glass of the honeyed liquor until the sun pinked the sky and the city woke around him.

He was showered and dressed and boarding a plane before Dae even woke up. 


Dae drug herself out of bed and forced herself to check her notifications.  There among the work emails and schedules and “Good Morning" briefings from Tae and Hobi she found the one she was afraid to open.

  There among the work emails and schedules and “Good Morning" briefings from Tae and Hobi she found the one she was afraid to open

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Fresh tears flowed at his formal tone.  By now she knew he had left the city, maybe the country.

Dashing her tears away she forced herself to shower and go into work.

She and Jin had gone through rough times before, she prayed she had the chance to make this right.

The following two weeks were torture as she got the project underway without Jin. 

If she had a question YoonGi was the one who responded.  When she emailed concerns about progress Jungkook answered her. 

She kept herself in overdrive during work hours, staying late, existing on diet coke and cookies.

Two nights she actually slept in her private suite off her office and did not go home.

The office suite was becoming an attractive option for her.  Staying there she did not have to skirt the flood of memories each time she walked in her home. Jin’s presence permeated the place, lingering like the last notes of his cologne.

Despite the hard work the project ran into problems and was at a standstill until Jin returned. 

Dae was ashamed to admit that she perhaps exaggerated the need for Jin to address the issue in person, but she wanted, needed to see him.

Jin was tucked into a tiny office in a remote town in the middle of the country. 

He felt a tiny touch of shame at how quickly he agreed with Hobi that he would need to personally address the supply issue.

Jin arrived in time for the last briefing of the day.  He strolled in behind JungKook, confirming by email the issue had already been settled by his phone calls from the airport. 

Looking around, he was damned if he was going to admit that.  His place was here.  He had missed it, he had missed them.  He had missed her.

He angled around the small bar, pouring himself a drink and just coincidentally positioning himself where he could observe the entire room.

He did not have to wait long before Dae entered the room. 

He felt her like a force of nature, stealing his breath and causing heat to spread like wildfire throughout his body.

He watched as she greeted each man in turn, pure affection and respect evident for each one of them.

He held his breath as he watched her head swing his way.  As his eyes met hers, he felt a flare of emotions.

Shame, hurt, desire all warred between them.

He saw her swallow hard, then lick her lips. It was one of her nervous habits that never failed to move him.

What were they doing?  What was he doing? He sighed in frustration and looked away.

Dae knew Jin was already in the building a dozen ways before she entered the conference room. 

She saw his car in the parking garage, glimpsed the lights in his office, smelled his unique scent in the elevator. 

All those cues did not prepare her for seeing him.  Her heart raced and she was having trouble breathing.

Meeting his eyes, she was lost.  She read the need followed by the hurt and then the shuttering of his emotions.

Neither of them spoke until Tae “accidentally” pushed her into the couch where he was seated and she practically fell in his lap.

Her face flushed scarlet as he reached to break her fall.

Holding her arm a moment longer than necessary, he seemed to come to a decision.  He took her hand and gently smiled.

“Dae.  It is good to see you.  Let's not do this.  We have so much work to do,” he whispered.

She nodded at him, unable to speak just then.

“We have done this before.  We just need to concentrate on the work.  The rest will follow with time. Yes?”  he asked, gently brushing a tear before it fell.

She drew a shuddering breath and composed herself.  He was right. 

Work was the thing right now. They could lose themselves in the project and find themselves again.  They always had.

She squeezed his hand and nodded and they moved to join the rest of the team at the conference table. 

As the meeting started everyone around the table shifted into their professional roles.

For the next hour they hammered out details that would take them into the next phase of the project.

As the meeting concluded, Hobi pulled Dae along with him and they were engrossed in conversation all the way back to her office. 

As they walked out the door Jin caught her glancing over her shoulder at him.  He gave her a smile and bent his ear to catch what YoonGi was asking. 

When he looked back up, she was gone.

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