Broken Halves

Chapter Thirty-Six

POV: Dani

It has been a few months since our first zoo trip and Faolan is now a few weeks shy of being two. I have never seen him so excited than how I did that day at the zoo. His little eyes were wide and intrigued the entire time we spent there. At every exhibit, he would turn to me and make the noise of the animal present before squealing in excitement. Ever since then, we have been making weekly trips to the zoo. You'd think he would get bored of it, but if anything he gets more excited every time. There is no doubt in my mind that animals have become his favorite thing. We bought him a set of toy animals and replaced most of his books with animal themed ones.

That isn't the only change in my baby's life. Faolan has now discovered the art that is climbing out of his crib. Imagine my shock when I woke up in the morning to find him in our living room playing with the toys in his toy box. Therefore, Jorden and I are currently in the process of re-decorating his bedroom now that he is old enough for a big boy bed. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't cry when we tore down the crib, because I did. Faolan is my baby; the only baby I will ever get. When he grows up, he will have to make a decision that I am not prepared for.

My son is going to become either Alpha King or Blood Moon's Alpha. I mean honestly, can any mother imagine their child filling those roles? To me Faolan will always be my baby boy, the one who I bawled over when I first held him. He is the one who warms my heart and gives my life purpose. He isn't allowed to grow; he has to stay my little boy forever.

I am not going to lie, I am absolutely terrified for my son's future. Word of his existence has spread to Cole's grandmother in France and I can't keep Faolan protected from her for much longer. She is growing older and desperately needs an heir to succeed her. My son is the only legitimate heir and I fear that she will take him from me. Faolan is my heart and the only thing of his father I have left; I can't lose him.

With my childhood as well as all of the loss I have experienced in the past few years, I can say that I have been shaped into a realist. Even if I manage to protect him from his overbearing great-grandmother, Faolan is still going to grow up to be Blood Moon's Alpha. Being an Alpha is in his blood and I cannot stop that from happening. I lost Cole to that position; I wouldn't be able to handle it if I lost my son. For now, I can just help him grow, learn, and smother him in my love. I want him to look back when he is older and have the childhood that I never had. I want him to know he is loved no matter what, and I want him to know that I will always be here for him no matter where the future takes him.

He is spending the day with Quinton for some grandfather grandson bonding time while Jorden and I set up and paint his room. Unsurprisingly, we are going to paint the room a light green to fit a jungle theme. Abbie, Denzell's mate is an amazing artist and agreed to help us out with the project. She is going to paint trees and various animals on the walls once the light green paint dries. Currently, Jorden is finishing up the last swipe with his paint roller.

"Well it just needs time to dry and then Abbie can come through and add in the animals and finer details." Jorden says while laying the paint roller down in the paint tray. I nod at his words before turning my attention to the many boxes that lay all around our floor. "You go take a shower, I'll start putting the furniture together and hopefully it will all be ready by the time Faolan comes home." Jorden smiles at my words and is out the door heading towards our bedroom before I even have time to smile and laugh.

As I sit down to start removing the furniture pieces from the boxes, I am hit with a sense of nostalgia as Jorden's smooth baritone floats through the air. Our lives have changed so drastically in the past couple years that I am thankful that Jorden still sings in the shower. The Cole that I knew was one that many others didn't know. Many only knew him as Alpha Cole. He was intimidating, he was tough, and he was quiet. Jorden had always been the goofball who constantly tried to soften up Cole. From the first day I met him, when he threw an apple at Cole's head, to all the laughter and funny moments in between.

Now that Cole is gone, and Jorden has stepped up as Alpha, the spark of humor that once motivated his every move has slowly been dwindling down. He hasn't completely lost it as you can't turn off your personality that easily. But, he has morphed into a version of himself that is more Cole like than Jorden has ever been. Jorden was always one who could be serious when he had to be, but now, he is one who can be humorous when he has to be.

"Let me help." He states while walking out of our bedroom and into our living room, his hair still dripping with water. I recognize his shirt as one that both he and Cole owned. Taking a seat next to me on the floor, Jorden looks over my shoulder to peer at the instructions before beginning to construct the dresser that I have temporarily stopped working on.

"Do you miss him?" I ask after a while of working in silence. "Every damn day Dani," he sighs while continuing to screw in the handles. "Every time I walk around this floor and see his stuff without him near it, or sit in the office in his chair knowing he isn't going to come through that door and roll his eyes at me. It hurts Dani. All I can think about is Faolan growing up and how he is going to be a spitting image of Cole. If I'm being honest I think it will hurt even more then. I know you didn't know him then Dani, but I did. I lived with that Cole; I grew with that Cole. I have memories of him at those ages. Right now Faolan is too little, but soon, I'm scared all I'm going to see is Cole." Jorden's hands begins to shake and I am quick to wrap myself around him to offer a source of comfort.

"We're going to be teaching him how to ride a bike and I'm going to be thrown back to a time when it was Cole and I learning how to ride and he went right into a tree." "Or it's going to be his first day of school and all I'm going to be thinking of is Cole on his first day and how he corrected the teacher because she was teaching the wrong information." I can't help but laugh even though I am trying to hold back my tears. I lean in closer to Jordan's side and lay my head on his shoulder. "We're just going to have to take it one step at a time. For now, let's just finish making this dresser." Jorden laughs as I bump my shoulder with his before we continue building our son's furniture, hoping Abbie didn't hear our conversation in the next room.

"Hurry up Jorden," I groan while attempting to finish the final touches of putting Faolan's raccoon comforter on his new bed. "Chill Dani, worst case scenario we aren't done and I link my dad to keep Faolan occupied for a couple more minutes." I sigh but know that he is right nonetheless. Quinton and Faolan are a few minutes away from the house and Jorden and I are attempting to complete the room in time to see our little man's reaction.

"He's going to be so happy." I start to tear up as I hear his little footsteps racing up the stairs and toward our location. Jorden walks over to me and puts his arm around my shoulders while kissing my forehead. "You're an amazing mom Dani." He leaves me with those words before opening up Faolan's bedroom door and scooping him up in his arms in the hallway.

"Hey little man did you have fun?" Jorden asks while tossing Faolan up into the air. "Yes!" He nods his little head before erupting into squeals as Jorden tickles him. Faolan is still too young to be talking in full sentences but he can say a few words; some being, mama, dada, yes, up, and hot. "Mama and I have a surprise for you Faolan do you want to see it?" Faolan nods his head excitedly before reaching towards me. I take him as Jorden opens up the door to his bedroom. "Happy almost birthday baby," I say while setting Faolan down so he can run and explore his new bedroom. "I'll love you forever little one." 

Question of the day: What is your go to pizza order? 

FOLLOW 

VOTE 

SHARE 

COMMENT