Wanting Her

Chapter 30

-HIM-

She smiles timidly at me. Her morning sights literally takes my breath away. All in all, she never fails to take my breath away.

"Hi." Her husky voice make knees buckle. If I was standing I would be kneeling right now.

"Hi." I whispered.

She trace my face with her fingers, "How are you?" But didn't meet my eyes.

"I'm fine. How do you sleep?"

"So pleasantly and I feel like I don't want to wake up."

I chuckled, "And why is that?"

"No specific reason." She smiles.

I neared my face to her and she let me. I feel her hands in my hair, treading it, transferring and filling me with feelings I can't decipher from the moment she came in the picture.

I sigh softly. Not knowing how to react is the first thing but how do I tell her about my family is what felt like a big stone to my chest. Will she walk away or will she stay? I hope for fucksake it's the latter.

Few moments later, she's backing away from me and stands up. "Where're you going?" Even I can hear the panic in my voice.

She turns, "To the toilet. I need to pee."

I watch her form go and fall back first on the couch. Relief that she is not going to back away first thing after she woke up. However, deep down I know, she's far more than that.

The truth that I never wanted to admit, even to myself is the fear of people... leaving me. Leaving me like how my father did after everything. Like how my brother did. It terrified me at first that I wanted to only disappear and be invisible to the world.

Then, I realized that the only way to not get hurt by any chances, or even 1% of possibility that anyone will leave me is to not get too close. Too attached. Too involved. Because that is one highway to a level 10 clusterfuck.

A road to feeling hollow and feeling of never enough for everyone around me. This time around, I steel myself to never get too involved with people. But it's a little hard if you have a persistent childhood friend that just won't read the signs.

And even harder where Lana was concerned. For the first time, I feel willing to share that little piece of me with someone. Damn, she's amazing.

I hear the bathroom door closes and Lana came to view. Her hair is put up in a bun and her face fresh from the washing. She looks surreal here in my room. Magnificent even.

Her eyes trail across my room and my eyes follow her every movement, "Is this your room?"

I nod, "Yes."

"Cool. I like this one. What's this?"

Her hands is holding this particular memories of me and my mom. The pendant my mom made from when I was little. My mom is very good in making those, she owns hands that are able to make something that needs a graceful yet precise hands in making those.

The pendant is simple however in making those, my mom took about more than 6 weeks to perfect it. Normally, it would just take about 4-6 weeks each pendant. However, this particular one, she pays most attention to.

This pendant, I kept it close to my heart. It's hers. It's simple yet perfect. The pendant is a circle and inside the circle, it was crafted each of her sons name, my brother and I. Easton and Ethan. On the outer circle, consist of wings.

"Who's Easton?" Lana asked, taking me back to present.

I cleared my throat. "My.. my brother."

"Hm, you have a brother? Where's he?" She asked out of curiosity and didn't aware of the waves happening to my chest.

"He's moved out of town. With his family." I replied, just enough to answer her.

She nods and puts down the pendant on the table, continuing her venture to look around my room. If she found anything that peaks her interest she would pick them up and scrutinize it. Sometimes, she asked me a question but nothing that cause havoc in me.

Just a mere safe question.

After about 15 minutes, her stomach growls to attention.

She gasps and put down a lego and instantly covers her stomach. She bit her lips and that action only switch on the desire to me.

She looks up and smiles sheepishly. "I'm hungry, can I go to the kitchen?"

She can go anywhere she likes but I just nod.

She walks into the kitchen and started to open the cabinet to find something. If she is looking for food, there isn't any that can fill the stomach besides an egg. By an egg I mean an egg. Only one.

I forced myself to get up, "What are you searching for?"

"Food. And coffee. I need it to function."

I smile and go to the coffee machine and turn it on. "What do you want to eat?" I crossed my arms to my chest and lean against the kitchen counter.

She push herself up in the table top. "I want to eat bacon and eggs. Do you have bacon? I would kill for a bacon now."
Her eyes close is a dramatic ways.

Well, that's too bad. I have none and only an egg.

I chuckle, "Sorry, but my kitchen have nothing. What do you say if we eat outside?" And handing her, her cup of coffee.

She nods eagerly and take a sip. After, she go upstairs to take a quick shower before going out. I tell her that the extra towels in the the toilet so she didn't have to search for it.

Then it struck me that she had stayed the night with me. It warms me inside but something more important have to be done.

I walk up the stairs to my room. "Lana did you tell your parents that-" I stopped short and what I see makes my breathe hitched and all the bloods go to my southern region.

Lana, in all her glory is wrapped up in a towel. The smell of my soap fills my nose but my attention is all on her right fucking now.

Lana.