Wanting Her

Chapter 37

-HER-

She met Will everyday but each day, she don't have the guts to ask him about Ethan. Unfortunately for her, Will is a tight lipped too about anything concerning Ethan. He didn't even tell her anything, didn't even ask her even when she knows he knows something.

Something that could give her the answer. The enlightenment she needed.

For example, Where is Ethan? It's a simple question yet when she tried to ask, her voice disappeared buried deep in her cowardice. However, not anymore. She can feel the determination seeping out of her, the question on the tip of her tongue and the cowardice cowers away replacing braveness in the frontline.

Fuck you, Ethan.

I have had enough of this silence treatment or whatever the fuck they call this. I'm pulling it to stop because I demand answers. And if Will doesn't bend to her will, he'll be a walking dead as of today.

After classes ended, she runs faster to her car not because she wants to go home so bad, but to wait for Will. Her stomach dipped in anticipation whether it'll be good news or bad news. Whether Will tell her about Ethan, or not. To hell the consequences I will coerce him into telling me and chase Ethan myself.

I waited, minutes feel like centuries after, Will and Em appears at her sight line. She can taste the satisfaction and waited until they stop in front of her.

"Hey, Lay." Both greeted me like a unison couple they are.

"Hey." I greeted back.

I frown and if they notice they don't say anything. I take a deep breath, but words vomit before I can stop it, "Will, do you know where he is? Please, I need enlightenment in what is going on. I have- no, I need to know." I can hear the determination in my voice.

Please, tell me.

"Lay, I'm sorry but even I don't know where he went. He's usually like this but trust me, Lay. He'll be back. I'm sorry I don't know anything to tell you. I swear."

Oh, God.

"Do you guys know something I don't?" They both looked alarmed by my question. Jackpot.

Will take covers, "It's not our story to tell you, Lay. It happens before you came."

Hell, this is making my head hurts. I understand that the can't tell me but I will be lying if I said it didn't hurt. They know, but they can't tell. They know but they also keep me in the dark. I'm not mad, I'm just upset and disappointed.

I felt betrayed.

Is it wrong that I felt this way? Is it true that I keep pushing him until he decides that it's enough?

To think that, I'm the one who doesn't know anything cuts the wound deeper. I've been trying to be in the light but I'm not that important to them to know what had happened to him. And I don't blame them one bit.

I just felt betrayed.

I nod my head, "Okay then, I'll be going home." I step back and get into my car. I heard Em calls my name but Will catch her hand before she could reach me. He shakes his head and I almost dropped my knees to thank him because I really need time alone.

I put the car in reverse and can't het fast enough to get away from there. I drive home with tears brimming in my eyes, I've got my answers but why don't I feel happy. The taste of satisfaction turns bitter knowing that Will and Em knows. If they had told me earlier before I ask, I may have reacted better than this annoying friend I'm playing.

I'm starting to dislike myself more everyday I started acting like a sensitive and fragile bitch. Ethan is to blame for making me this way. The cumbersome of everything that happened this past weeks weighed me down and I'm draining in energy just thinking about it.

I'm mad at myself for letting this matter gets to me, I'm mad at Ethan because he made me this way, I'm mad at everything that made me upset. I'm letting him way deeper than I want to admit.

I take a deep breath and admit to the feeling I've been denying myself this past months. Lying to my mind saying it was just pure attraction because of his beautiful deep blue eyes, sculptured handsome face, and sinful lips. But I know deep in my heart that I love him.

I'm in love with him.

I love him and I don't know what to do with my feelings because the first boy I've ever loved leaves me hanging on the cliff. He shuts me out like he did everytime, he ignores me like I'm nobody and he hurts me like we're nothing. And one truth that kills me, he don't trust me enough to tell me.

The words pangs my hearts and I chocked on a sobs but I don't want to cry in the car. The tears are already blurring my view but I wipe them away with the back of my hand. I just want to have a nice warm shower and slips under my cover. I don't want to think about him anymore.

My parents had asked me about the dinner invitation. On that day I'm very anticipating and excited to ask him but the event turns on the rocky road. It all turns hell when he caught me hearing his conversation. I don't mean it but my judgement was clouded by my curiosity.

"Honey, have you tell Ethan about the dinner? I want to prepare for it." Mom asked.

I was squirming with her question and I don't want to tell her that Ethan and I have problems. "Hm, no, I haven't got the chance. We're too busy with assignments and quizzes."

"Okay, as soon as it all settle down, you can invite him."

I just smile at her words because despite how my dad dislikes towards Ethan, my mom is warm towards him and I don't want to ruin it by saying that we have a fight and mount up dad's dislikes towards him.

As soon as I park my car, I get out of my car to open the front door. Whilst searching the keys in my backpack, the husky, raspy voice that I've missed this past weeks stops my movement. My hearts had started move at uneven pace and I gulped the lump in my throat.

"Lana." He calls behind me.

His body heat is messing with my mind and I hate how my body betrays me at this moments because all I want to do right now is fall into his embrace and kiss him because I miss him so so much when I should be punching him in the throat and throttle him so that he knows how I feel about everything.

I let out a breath and turn, the blue depth pierces my greens causing lot of butterflies awakens deep in me.