Hurt (Kellic) ON HOLD

Tears

so they pull back, make other plans i understand, i'm a liability

(Kellin's POV)

It's been a while since me and Vic were baking in my kitchen, to be honest I don't really know how long. A week, two? Maybe a month, or only just a day.

Somethings wrong, my lungs are heavy and I think someone replaced my oxygen supply with cement. I can feel it spreading throughout my body with each breath, movements slow, my mind feels slower.

It's Monday, I think, I'm heading to school so that's all that really matters. I leave the house in jeans and a sweater, mother leaving earlier so I don't have to worry about her saying anything.

I don't have to worry about her saying anything, because I can still hear her, voice sharp as it stabs into my stomach, my hands clammy and clenched. I trip on a crack in the sidewalk, falling like deadweight to the ground beneath me.

I get up, embarrassed and wipe my hands onto my jeans and continue, teeth chewing softly on my lip.

Don't think about her. Don't think about her. Don't.

I get to class and do my normal routine, sit down, face forward, ignore everyone.

It seems Vic has adopted the same routine so it has become easier, well easy to do, it's not easy to ignore the way my heart drops into my stomach everyday.

Today is different though, in class he turns to me, and I pretend to not see his nervous expression. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, I have to get this boy out of my head.

He looks so good, his hair slightly ruffled and soft looking, I bite my tongue as the thought of running my hand through it enters my head.

I turn towards him, forcing a smile as I take in his full appearance today.

He looks awful, not in the sense of appearance, it's not the type of awful you see with one glance, it's the type you can only see when you look into their soul.

His sweater is loose fitting and has a small stain on the right shoulder, his leg bouncing and foot tap, tap, tapping softly on the ground relentlessly. His fingernails are chewed to the nub, and his eyes have a darker smudge under them.

"Are you okay."

I can't stop myself, and now that the words are out of my mouth and I wish to reach into the air and stuff them back I can't.

He looks up at me blankly, as if he too was stunned to silence by my words. I don't think we've spoken since that day, and he seems surprised that I'd break the silence.

"Yes." he says simply, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry."

I want to ask him for what but the teacher starts class, so I turn to the front and go back into my routine.

(Vic's POV)

It's after school when I finally get to speak with Kellin, at the end of class I told him to meet me at the park, and I prayed to god, or whoever that he would come.

I wait, and wait. Nails shoved in between my teeth, until there is nothing to chew. Teeth grinding together, feet clenching and unclenching as I wait.

I feel sick, my mouth tastes funny, was it always this warm outside? Tugging on the collar of my shirt to cool down I finally spot Kellin, he approaches, not looking at me and sis next to me on the swings.

Neither of us say anything for a bit, the only sound is his shoes crunching in the dirt underfoot as he stares unblinking at the ground.

I tap his hand, he looks up at me, eyes empty but gaze soft, I feel sad just looking at him. Breeze blows through his hair, blowing it in his face. I reach out and tuck it behind his ear.

I blush, but leave my hand on his face. I feel like he's staring into my soul. He puts his hand over mine, pulling it down and intertwining our fingers, he looks away.

His hands are cold, but the feeling of warmth that spreads through my body at this small affection makes my stomach do flips.

"Kellin."

He hums in response, rubbing his thumb in slow circles on my hand, he's still not looking at me. I ignore the tingles his touch shoots through my body, and take a breath. I have something I need to say.

"Kellin, please." I whisper, his eyes flicker my way, gaze much more somber. "I shouldn't have said what I said, I didn't mean it."

His face falls, then his eyes light up. His thumb stops moving and his grip tightens, his lips form a toothy smile.

And oh, my heart just about melts.

"You mean?" he starts, looking more alive than I've ever seen.

I nod, and I have no time to register his response because he jumps on me, I fall back off the swing and he comes down with me.

I huff as I hit the ground, but before I can take a breath his lips meet mine, and god I'd rather suffocate than pull back right now.

His hands find their way to my hair, he's carding his fingers through so softly I can barely feel them. He's so gentle but so forceful as his lips dance with mine. My hands roam his body, I don't know what to do with myself, all of my senses are taken up with Kellin.

It's only when I feel my face get damp that I place my hands on his face and help us sit up.

"Sorry," Kellin says through tears. "I'm just so happy."

It's now my turn to push him to the ground and crash our lips together, smiling into the kiss. It's messy, our teeth clink together because we both can't stop smiling.

"Kellin." I mumble into the kiss. "Kellin you are every thing I've ever wanted."

We sit up, me still in his lap, dirt on our clothes and in our hair. His hand slowly starts combing through my hair.

"It's so soft," he marvels, seeming completely content in this moment. "I never thought it would be this soft."

I feel myself so smitten with this boy, he's so lovely, he's  well, he's everything.

I place a soft kiss on his nose, placing my hands on his hips, tracing shapes with my fingers.

"You are so wonderful Kellin, I hope you can forgive me for being so stupid."

"Don't worry," he smiles, toothy and sweet. "You already are."

And we kiss.

(AN: hey guys, i'm sorry for such a long wait for this chapter, things have been so hectic for me and especially now with everything going on. i hope you are all well and staying safe, i love you all. i don't know if i'm going to continue this story after this, it feels like a good conclusion, maybe a couple more chapters and/or an epilogue, unless people wanted a sequel? anyways love you all, stay safe)