Save me. (Remington Leith X Andy Biersack)

Chapter 59

The sun is only just rising when Remington bolts up with a scream, narrowly missing the ceiling with his head. He practically falls out of the bunk and darts into the bathroom, throwing the toilet seat open and heaving violently, tears running down his cheeks.

Both his brothers sit with him while he's sick and then make him brush his teeth before helping him back to bed. Sebastian offers to lie with him so Emerson can get some sleep.

Remington curls into his older brother and exhales. "Sorry," he whispers, "I keep waking you up."

Sebastian kisses the boy's head. "Don't you apologise," he says, stroking Remington's hair. "Go back to sleep, buttercup, you're tired."

In the morning, Remington feels worse than usual. He shuffles into the kitchen area and makes himself a coffee, keeping his head down to avoid looking at Alexis, and hides in his bunk. The boy watches Netflix on his laptop for a few hours, pausing the show to take his pills. He briefly thinks about swallowing the whole bottle, but shakes that thought out of his mind, shocked that that actually crossed his mind at all. He's never thought like that before.

He rinses the mug and turns to go back to his bunk, freezing when Alexis walks past him and their shoulders touch. Sebastian is quick on guiding the singer out of the area. "She's not going to hurt you," he reminds his brother, "you're safe."

Remington rubs his eyes. "Doesn't feel like that," he whispers, sitting back in his bunk. 

Alexis is confused. Every time she's around, Remington basically runs away. She tries not to think about it because she knows it isn't her business. She's just their photographer, but she can't stop herself from trying to come up with theories. Perhaps the singer is just a bit cuckoo. He does seem all over the place. 

It's no secret that he wakes in the night. She is woken by his screams. Of course she is. She only thing that seems to make sense is that he has nightmares.  There is definitely something going on with him. 

The girl decides she's going to ask Sebastian about it, and once the guitarist returns, she asks, "is Remington okay?" 

Sebastian is thrown off by the question. He isn't about to reveal anything to her. "He's fine," he answers, not wanting to get into it. Remington would not forgive him if he told Alexis. 

"Really? He seems pretty shaken," she says, trying to get the man to open up about it. 

The guitarist nods. "Yeah, really." 

Remington can hear them talking. He's listening from his bunk, praying that his brother won't say anything. It goes quiet again and he picks up his phone, satisfied by what he's heard. He knows Alexis is going to have to find out eventually. It is so obvious that he's scared of her. Either they're going to have to tell her, or she'll figure it out. She does seem like the prying type, unfortunately. 

The show doesn't go too badly, thought Remington stumbles over a few words when he catches Alexis out of the corner of his eye. He quickly recovers and carries on, sending Sebastian a nod when they man gives him a worried look. 

Remington doesn't even try to hug fans tonight. He stays in the bus while the others take photos, wishing he could do that without the pain of it. 

The singer knows he needs a shower, and has conflicting thoughts about what to do. It's late, almost midnight, and his brothers are outside. He can't drag one of them away and he wants to go to sleep fairly soon, so his only option is to shower alone.

He takes a towel and his onesie in with him, locking the door and undressing. The boy hesitates on turning the dial, but bites the bullet and turns it as far as it will go. 

The water hammers down and he inhales sharply, trying to block it out while he washes his hair. He manages to rinse the shampoo out and steps out quickly, messing with the shower until it goes off. 

He looks at himself in the little mirror and smiles. He actually did it. For the first time since the hotel, he showered alone. And he's okay. 

He's okay. 

Remington puts his onesie on and brushes his teeth before going to bed. He's sleeping by the time everyone else gets on, and Sebastian makes sure no one wakes him up, knowing how startled the boy can get if he's woken suddenly. 

But just ten minutes later Remington screams. His brothers quickly get to him, hugging him and telling him he's safe until he drifts off on Emerson's shoulder. The drummer moves him carefully and gets in beside his best friend, sighing. 

He wishes Remington would talk about his nightmares. He doesn't tell anyone about them, not really. Abigail asked him a few weeks ago and he closed down and stopped talking for the rest of the session.

And Remington just wishes he could be happy.