Save me. (Remington Leith X Andy Biersack)

Chapter 62

Not even a minute went by that Holly wasn't tormenting him.

Remington paces his room. Since they got home yesterday, it's all he's been doing. He mutters quietly to himself, sometimes louder, trying and failing to understand what he did to deserve this endless pain and sadness.

He always did as she said, as he was told, yet she always managed to find a reason to hurt him. Always.

And now, months after it all, it's like she's still here. He keeps telling himself that she can't hurt him anymore, but God, he doesn't believe that for a second.

"Remington," the familiar voice of Sebastian says through the door, "please come and have some lunch. You've been in there all day." The man has been listening to his brother walking around all morning, knowing that Remington is upset and shaken up because of Alexis.

The boy stops pacing. "Not hungry," he says in a dull tone, even though he is hungry.

Sebastian sighs. "I know you're hurting, bud, and I really don't want you to hurt in there on your own. At least come and sit with me." The man tries, keeping his voice down, aware that a slightly raised voice can bring all those tortuous days right back.

Remington is standing by the door now. He would love a hug. "What's for lunch?"

"Pizza," the guitarist answers, hoping it can allure the boy from his room. A few moments of quiet pass, and then the door handle turns and Remington opens it. He goes to step past his brother, but the man says, "where are you going? Come here, buttercup." Remington doesn't have to be told twice. He walks into Sebastian's arms and sighs. "What's going on, precious, why are you hiding in here?"

Remington knows why, but he won't say. He hasn't been taking his medication, the ones prescribed by Abigail. They make him feel different, vacant. He doesn't like them. Of course, he knows that he should be taking them. He can't deny that he's happier when he's on them, but the side effects make them less appealing. "I'm just confused," he answers.

Stroking the boy's hair, Sebastian frowns. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The younger shakes his head. "No, Sebby, I'll talk to Abigail about it in therapy tomorrow."

The two go downstairs and eat the pizza, and Remington does feel better now he's not so hungry. His mind is spinning, insults that she would say, words she would use, they all crash about in his head.

What did he do to deserve it?

Deep down, Remington knows why. Because he's weak, unlovable, annoying, ugly. God, he's so ugly.

The boy doesn't realise that he's scratching at his wrist until he feels liquid on his fingers and discovers that he's made himself bleed unintentionally.

But was it really unintentional, though?

He knows Sebastian has seen, and doesn't bother hiding it from him. "I-I didn't mean to," he mumbles, but isn't really sure that it's the truth.

Sebastian stands up and takes the singer's hand, pulling him to his feet. "I know," he says, "let's get it cleaned up." He sits him in the bathroom and wipes his wrist, sticking a large plaster over the shallow wound to protect it from dirt. And also from Remington making it worse. "Are you sure you don't want to talk, pumpkin?"

The offer is so enticing. Remington would love to tell his brother what's going on. But he nods. "'M sure," he says quietly, "I'm fine, I promise."

It's later on in the day when Sebastian comes across the bottle of pills, noticing straight away that there are way too many in the bottle for the boy to have been taking them twice a day for the past few weeks. The man knew something was up with his brother.

He isn't sure that confronting him Remington about it is a good thing to do, but doesn't know how else to get the boy to start taking them again.

Clearly, Remington needs the medication. That much is obvious.

Instead of making his brother feel worse, Sebastian decides to call Abigail instead and let her know so that she can talk to Remington about it in therapy. He rings the woman and sits down on the sofa as she answers. "Hiya Abigail," he starts, "I have just discovered that Remington hasn't been taking his medication and thought that if you knew then you could talk to him about it tomorrow."

Abigail is glad that the man is telling her this. Since Emerson and Sebastian stopped going to the sessions with him, Remington has become a lot more open and admits to telling her things that his brothers do not know. "I thought this might happen. Thank you for letting me know, Sebastian, I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you. Have a good day."

After the short conversation with Abigail, Sebastian is satisfied that his brother is getting the help that he needs.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Remington scrolls through Instagram mindlessly. He likes random pictures and posts a selfie on his story with the words loner for life. He finds it amusing how people who see it will repost it with captions like relatable af, because they actually have no idea how alone he actually feels.

Just because he has people to talk to doesn't mean he doesn't feel like an outcast.

That's what his brothers don't understand. They think that, because he's constantly around them, that he feels protected and loved. And while he does feel protected when he's with them, specially when he is in Sebastian's arms, he feels so completely unloved by every single person in the world all the time.

A chorus of millions of people could sing over and over that they love and adore him and he'd laugh at them all in utter disbelief.

"You don't really think your fans actually like you, do you?" Holly had questioned one day. They were eating dinner and she had been in a particularly sour mood that day. Well,  that year, really.

Remington had chosen to ignore her. She has no idea about our fans, he told himself, of course they like me. Why wouldn't they?

Well, because he's ugly and weak and-God, he's so ugly.

The woman had slapped him that same day for dropping a glass on the floor and shattering it. She made him pick it up with his hands and didn't care that he had cut himself badly with a sharp shard of it.

And it wasn't exactly an accident. 

Hi!! Reminder! I see palaye in two days so if you are interested in my offer of writing them a letter from you then now is your chance!! You can say as little or as much as you like and can have it anonymous or signed off with your name. Please, please do hmu if you are interested!! I promise i don't bite.