Not Today

XV

Draco's POV

"Draco, come here." Father said with an icy tone. I walked over to him already kinda shaking. "Yes father?" I asked. I saw the look on his face, I knew he wasn't happy. "DO YOU THINK ITS ACCEPTABLE TO BE LIKE THIS? TO HAVE WORSE GRADES THEN MULTIPLE MUGGLEBORNS? YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO THE MALFOY LINE, YOU LOOK LIKE A FAT DISGUSTING PIG! I CANT BELIEVE YOU'RE ACTUALLY MY SON! CRUCIO!!
My father roared. I fell to the floor in pain, sharp searing pains were all over my body, it felt like a knife was stabbing me all over. Adding to the pain my father was kicking me in my head as hard as he could with his boot. I felt myself slowly lose conscience. The last words I heard was "YOU ARE A DISGRACE AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!" My father yelled in my ear kicking me in the ribs and walking out the room.

*end nightmare/memory.*

I shot up in the bed, breathing heavy and on the verge of a panic attack. Harry was beside me sleeping. I just got up and walked to the bathroom, my thoughts haunting me. You are a fat disgusting pig! I heard my fathers voice echo in my head. I bent over the toilet seat and stuck two fingers down my throat after making sure the door was locked and I was silenced. Tears were streaming down my face. I threw up everything I had in my body. I had eaten some spaghetti yesterday afternoon and some Doritos last night. I felt it all come up.

I coughed and pulled away from the toilet after I was sure everything was out. I looked for something, anything sharp. I needed to cut! Everything was closing in and my breaths came in shallow heaved waves as I sobbed. I stood up and looked around the room trying to find a blade or something sharp, I finally saw a razor, I grabbed it and fumbled with it taking it apart. The longer it took the more panicked i got.

I finally got it apart and rolled my sleeve up, I put the cold blade on my skin and pushed as hard as I could and slid it across the skin. I wasn't feeling any relief so I continued to do this to my whole arm. I was still sobbing and it felt like my throat was closing. I lifted my shirt and started on my stomach and hips. Nothing was enough, there was blood everywhere. I sat there and sobs engulfed my body. I let my hand fall from where it was and the blade went clattering to the ground, you could barely hear it.

I sobbed and scratched at my body for a few minutes before crabbing my blade again and pulling my pants down. I was getting angry that there wasn't any relief, I pressed harder then ever into my thigh and the blade glided across the skin and blood poured out of it, I did this to both legs feeling a little better but I was dizzy and shaky. Probably from all the blood pouring from my body. I gathered my strength to find a towel and put it on my stomach, I found another smaller towel and put it on my legs, blood instantly soaked the towel.

I looked around for another towel to cover my arms but I couldn't find anything but a washcloth, it would have to do for now. I sat there with everything covered, relishing in the feeling of burning all over my body. Eventually I gently took the towels off of me and used my wand to spell them away. I put bandages messily on my wounds so blood didn't get all over the place if they started bleeding again.

I pulled my shirt down and the sleeves. I got up and pulled my pants up. I cleaned away any blood on me and the floor. I threw the blade in the toilet and flushed it. Then I went and washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked deathly pale. My eyes were red from crying. I cast a glamour to make them look normal. I finished washing my hands and I silenced the room, unlocked the door and walked out.

I made my way back over to Harry's bed, everyone was still asleep. I looked at the time and realized it was 3 am. I laid down quietly and closed my eyes. Harry moved around and sighed. "Draco, why are you up?" Harry said still disoriented from just waking up. "I just had to go to the bathroom." I lied to him. He nodded and flipped over and put his arms around me, he laid his hand right across my stomach where I had just cut. I sucked in a deep breath and moved a little to get myself more comfortable.