Zayn grabbed my hand and pulled me to floor. The song that was playing was Make It To Me by Sam Smith. I absolutely loved this song.
Zayn pulled me next to him and started grinding on me and to my surprise I did it back. This all wouldn't matter in the morning anyway. We were both drunk and ended up laughing at each other and then decided to go get a drink.
When I walked by where I was once sitting I heard someone calling my name but honestly I was too bust not caring to see who it was. I kept walking but I felt like walking wasn't enough it wasn't good enough. I knew what I wanted, to run and hide to get away. I knew better then to let anyone in. I knew this wasnt a big deal to most people but I'm not them I'm fragile. Every bone in my body took over and before I knew it I was outside running, the tears were streaming down my face. My chest felt heavier then it really was. I was at the grave yard before I knew it I collapsed.
I could feel myself falling and lightly slipping away I knew this was a bad idea. Going out everything always ends up badly. "Mama" I screamed. "Why did you leave me, what did I do to deserve this." I felt like someone was near but I didn't care all I wanted was to say it. '' Why you and not me; I don't deserve this I don't want to feel like this anymore I'm tired of carrying this, this guilt with me everywhere. I'm tired of having to hurt myself and ruining my life becuase I can't move on! You left, but now I need you more than ever!" I screamed or at least I felt thats what I was doing. I felt someone hold me and pull me up. I knew those arms, and I know I shouldn't but I let them envolp me anyway.
"Harry, I'm sorry that I can't be perfect. I'm sorry that I have scars. I'm sorry that I am not good at being who you want me to be, I am guarded I can't let my wall's down." I couldn't stop the words they came out faster than I ever wanted them too. I burried my head into Harry's chest. I breathed in his smell, Mints and light colonge that I really liked. "Hush baby, I dont want you to be different we will talk in the morning I am staying with you, if that's all right?" Harry said he had sounded lke he was crying but maybe it was just me. I shook my head as a way to tell him that, that was fine. "I'll take that as a yes, and baby never ever hide things from me, I know you will but I just want you too know that I'm here and I promise that I'm not leaving. I have my scars to. I promise not to let go."
That last thing that Harry had said only made me cry harder. He was trying I was overreacting I was pushing him away but I couldn't help it. It's what I was taught to do. Everything since that moment was leaving others out but at that time I didn't care. I don't want to be alone anymore. I wanted Harry to be in my life I wanted him to be the one who opened me back up.
I think I now know what I have to do.Losing my Mum was hard but why did it have to control my life right. " Harry?" I called. "Yeah Baby." "I know I haven't treated you the way you deserve and I'm sorry. I'm going to change. Your the only person who has ever really made me realize that this is my life and I should be the one to live it. And Harry, I want you to be a part of that. If you want to, but I understand if I'm too much of a challenge to deal with and if you want to leave I understand."
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Don't leave -Harry Styles fanfic
FanfictionI sat there in wonder looking around like I had so many times before. But this time was different but I didn't know why. I had spent so much time in this room but at this moment in time I knew nothing but which the darkness that had surrounded. I th...
