"Well," I said taking a long breath, I didn't want her to think I was a whole different person or her to think that I was any different then anyone else. "It all started when,"
"When I was about 6 years old. My parents had been fighting a lot and I didn't understand why. It was happening before that but this is as early as I can remember. My dad had left us, shortly after, I had realized they were fighting and what about." I said collecting my thoughts.
"At the time I thought it was my fault what was happening but it wasn't. My father left for the better, he didn't want to hurt. He was a drunk, sure I blame him. But you always have that thought in the back of your mind saying, am I the one who drove him to drinking. Am I the reason he came home every night mad. Giving me bruises and scars that I'll never forget." I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to lose her.
"Its ok Harry, I promise I won't judge you." Raven said grabbing my hand and kissing my check ever so lightly.
" I didn't understand what he was doing to me and my mum was wrong at the time. I thought that I deserved the punishment. My mum had told me to be brave, that daddy didn't want to hurt me. That he loved me, she was scarred I mean do you blame her. I don't my mum means the world to me. After my father had left, my mum would tell me that its better that he left, so that he couldn't hurt either of us anymore." I grabbed another collected breath. This was harder than I thought and I don't know why.
"A few years later I fell into a really deep depression, my mum took me to different doctors, but nothing helped. I felt like it had been my fault that dad had left us both. That I had ruined my mum's only sign of happiness. I had taken that speacil thing away from her by being born, and there was nothing more that I wanted then to undo that." I sighed.
I felt Ravens hand still on mine giving me that boost of confidence. I wanted to tell her maybe it would help her realize that. I know about her cuts. I hate that she does it, I know what it feels like to be that way. "Its ok Harry."
"I know. I began cutting myself, alot to be exact. I told myself it was helping. My mum found out. I felt worse so I decided that enough was enough I would end this once and for all. I hung a rope in my closet, wrote my letters to my mum put them in a shoe box above the shelf. But right as I was about to do it. In walked my mum. She looked so happy when she walked in, something I hadn't seen in a long time. I remember her eyes filling up with tears and her falling to the ground. 'Harry, please don't do this, its not your fault. I'm better now I promise, I met someone Harry, he treats me good and he wants to meet you.' She walked over to me. Took the rope away from me and reached her hand out I remember I the moment how relieved I had felt."
"She had saved my life." I said a tear rolling down my face. She knew now I didn't have to hide my past.
"Harry, this is why you know how to take care of me because you know part of the pain that I feel. You know what its like to want to die." Raven breathed out, tears were streaming down her face.
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Don't leave -Harry Styles fanfic
FanficI sat there in wonder looking around like I had so many times before. But this time was different but I didn't know why. I had spent so much time in this room but at this moment in time I knew nothing but which the darkness that had surrounded. I th...