After me and Raven got done hanging out. I went back to my dorm and pulled the box that kept my deepest darkest secrets in it. I haven't touched it in a long time, it was almost as if when I would touch it the seems to my world would come open again.
When I lifted the lid, the first thing I saw was my book. The one where I kept all the years of shit in, not all bad but not many that were good. I'm scared and I don't exactly know why.I had read the words on these pages do many times I should have them memorized. But still, a quiver ripped threw my body, starting at the top of my shoulders, all the way too my toes.
I unwrap the small rope like thing, that seems to be holding all the words into the leather notebook.
I read the words that were inked in permantly, something that could never be changed, the way RDS that would always help me remember the things that would remind that I've been through shit in my life.
Entry 1,
I'm still lying awake, the voices won't calm. Not on the inside, or the outside. Mum has been fighting with the human being who is supposed to be my father. They never stop fighting. My arms and legs burn from the fresh wounds. It scares me, the fact that I feel better. It had been about a month now since I started it. But the thing is, I don't know how I lived without it before. Everything seems to be getting to be too much for me; getting out of bed, walking out of my room. But the thing that really messes with me is the bruises that litter my body, along with my mums.
I keep reading even after my tears are completely clouding my eyes. My thoughts running wild. I keep reading aimlessly, almost like I'm in a haze. Until, I come across a section that I have too repeat.
"I can't take this anymore." I wishper. "Take what" the mysterious person whispers back. "Life."
"What ever could you mean, dearest Harry?" "Everything," I say as the tears drop from my eyelids. "Humanity often does that to people." They answer trying to help me but it does no good. "I look around and only see humans, not humanity."
The thoughts are racing through my head. Why do I miss my razor blade, the thing that once soothed me to sleep. The one thing that gave me a release. I'm still scared that I'm going to give back into the urges. But I have too try. To be okay.
YOU ARE READING
Don't leave -Harry Styles fanfic
FanficI sat there in wonder looking around like I had so many times before. But this time was different but I didn't know why. I had spent so much time in this room but at this moment in time I knew nothing but which the darkness that had surrounded. I th...
