Chapter 6

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I paced in a corner of the backstage area, impatiently waiting for Rick to come back with Erin and Niall in tow. It was the day of the LA show, and the two of them had been able to make it for the show after all. I had invited them to come earlier in the day so they could meet Devoted and Dashboard Confessional. As soon as I laid eyes on Erin, I ran to her and wrapped her in a massive hug, almost knocking us both over. "Erin McCarty, the love of my life! You look phenomenal! I missed you so much!"

"Have enough coffee today, Nat?" Erin joked, hugging me back just as tightly.

I moved to hug Niall as well, though not as enthusiastically as I had hugged his girlfriend. "I think you guys have gotten even more attractive since the last time I saw you. How are you?"

"We're good!" Erin ruffled my hair, now a vibrant shade of pink. "Loving this, by the way."

"Thank you! I got tired of being natural again."

"So. How's Nat?"

I smiled. "I've been really good. I kind of don't trust how happy I've been." It had been a few weeks since the Cleveland show, and most of the days had been great for me. "Mostly just keeping busy. Sutton and I are trying to decide on a song to cover, on top of him still helping me with guitar. I try to have as little downtime as possible so I can avoid social media and the internet as much as I can," I shrugged. "It's been hit or miss since that whole karaoke video came out whether or not people are nice to me."

"How much fun was that performance? It looked like you gave it everything you had. It was amazing, kind of mind blowing, and fuck, did it pack a punch."

I giggled, thinking back to the performance. Someone at the bar had recorded videos of all of our performances and uploaded them to the internet. Feedback had been mostly positive, but there was always a corner of Twitter where nothing but negativity thrived. "It was so exhilarating. Honestly, getting it all out was such a weight off. I don't think I could have done it if I hadn't been drinking, though; I'm not sure I would have had the guts. But I did it and I'm proud of it."

"Louis saw it," Niall spoke suddenly, causing me to freeze and Erin to shoot him a look. "I think it devastated the poor lad."

I stared at him, unblinking. "What do you mean? Why would he be devastated? He's the one that ended things."

Erin touched my knee. "I think he just assumed you were fine with everything, since you never came out and said anything about it? So seeing you so emotional, and lyrically that song is... I just don't think he expected you to be so affected, and it threw him for a loop."

I stayed quiet for a moment. "Of course I'm going to be upset. Did he really think our marriage meant that little, that I'd just be fine? Especially after he completely blindsided me with the whole thing? He's not that dense, Erin. He knew I wouldn't take it well, otherwise he wouldn't have blocked me." I took a deep breath, stopping myself before I said anything more.

Niall sighed. "Erin swore not to say anything to you, but I didn't... He feels like an idiot, Nat. I've never seen him so upset..." He shot a nervous glance at Erin before continuing. "He said he wishes he wouldn't have given up on you guys."

"Niall James!" Erin scolded him. "I told you we weren't going to meddle!"

I shrugged. "It doesn't change anything for me. He's the one that walked away. He made his choice. Second guessing himself after the fact doesn't change what's happened." Just then, Sutton walked by, and I waved him over. "Baby Goose! Come meet the light of my life and her beau!"

I stood in the wings, bouncing nervously as Dashboard Confessional performed. After speaking with Erin and Niall, I had gone to Chris and asked him if we could duet a different song tonight, and he accepted. We had only gone through it a couple of times before showtime, so I was nervous, but I was excited. As the song began, I listened intently, focusing on the music. Chris was singing the first verse, I would come out and sing the second, and we would share the remainder of the song.

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