The Best Deceptions (Want You Bad sequel)

Chapter 5

I fought through being sick to write this chapter for you guys. It's one of my favorites so far. Enjoy!!!

"Hey babies!" I waggled my fingers at the vlogging camera. "Everyone else is still sleeping, so I've gotta be quiet, but I'm super excited for the next couple of days. We are home! We have today off so I'm going to spend some time with my family, and then tomorrow is a hometown show for both us and Devoted, so it's gonna be crazy! Cleveland crowds are always the best, and I can't wait to see some of you there!" I took a long drink from my coffee. "Oh, and I've seen the comments that several of you have been leaving, asking for Sutton and I to do a cover for the channel, so I'm gonna run that by him. If he's not in, I'm sure Gare and I can whip a little something up for y'all. Okay, I'll check back in throughout the day, bye for now!" I blew a kiss at the camera before shutting it off.

I settled back into the sofa and sighed heavily. As excited as I was to be home, it would mean putting on a happy face. I had asked everyone to keep the divorce to themselves, and I had not told anyone, which meant that my mom still thought I was happily married, as did the rest of the world. I knew I couldn't avoid telling my mom, but I couldn't bring myself to face it yet. When she had first found out that I had gotten married, she had been fervently hoping it was a prank. Once she accepted that it had happened, she had told Garrett 'I hope it lasts longer than Kim Kardashian's did,' which it had...just barely.

A text from Erin brought me out of my thoughts. She had asked if I was free to video chat, so I grabbed my laptop from my bunk and set up in the bedroom area to call her. My best friend's face filled the screen as she smiled and waved. "Hey beautiful!"

"Hey you! Where are you? It's almost 11 here, so it's potentially early for you."

Erin rolled her eyes. "You're always way too concerned about my sleep schedule, Nat. But I'm in New York visiting Niall, so it's not too early. Is it okay if Niall is in here? If not, I can give him the boot."

I shrugged. "Nah, he can stay. Hi Ni!"

Erin adjusted the camera so that both of them were visible. "Hey, Nat. How are you?" Niall was smiling, but I could hear the concern in his voice.

I shrugged again. "Hanging in there!"

Erin fixed me with a level stare. "Natalie."

"Fine. I'm not great. I'm trying so hard to be okay, but I don't know how. Garrett, Sutton, and Rick have been great. Chris from Dashboard fucking Confessional has even been great, but it feels like everyone else is either ignoring me or tiptoeing around me. I just want to be okay and I want everything to feel normal and not like I'm fucking drowning all the time. I'm supposed to have lunch with my mom today, but I don't think I can do it. This feeling fucking sucks, guys." By the end of my rant, I was crying. "I hate it. So. Much. And I'm so confused. I just don't understand."

Niall blinked and ran a hand over his face. "Fuck, Natalie. I'm so sorry you have to do this." He shrugged a shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better, he's not doing great either. He misses you like crazy."

"That's nice and all, but he still served me with divorce papers and blocked me. Actions speak louder than words."

Erin, her own face wet with tears, leaned forward. "You're going to get through this like the bad bitch you are. I know you will, because you are so fucking strong, Nat. You've gotten me through more shit than most, and I am determined to help you through this. But Natalie. You have got to accept that it's okay to not feel okay all the time. You don't have to be all smiles all the time. You are allowed to feel things, babes."

"You're making me cry even harder, E," I laughed, wiping my face. "I miss you so much. Are you guys still planning on coming to the LA show? I should have an answer back about that house I put an offer on by then. If I get it, you guys could come see it!" We discussed plans for the two of them visiting until a knock sounded on the bedroom door. As I was closing the laptop, Rick walked into the room with a fresh coffee for me and a somber look on his face. I accepted the coffee with a murmured thank you.