dreadful

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i wish i could just kill you in my brain. 
completely vanish you. 
i am not holding you accountable for it, 
i just wish i could stop hurting.

i wish i could erase you off the face of my earth,  
because it really hurts to know i shall never own a piece of you. 
hold you in the dolorous moments, 
laugh with you, 
and taste you.

how could i ever explain with words the way you make me feel? 
utterly beautiful on the inside, 
but never secure enough to allow me to spit out the secret words.
i just flee and keep on feeding on to my lie. 
you are my dread and my pleasure.



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