i always say in my head how strong i can really be.
but when i am alone in my room and start falling apart- crying
i realise how weak i am.
when at this moment nothing is possible for me.
i let myself rely on writing.
i rely on words, and i rely on my exhausted brain.
but what can a worn-out brain do?
i always say i will ask for help.
i have learned my mistake.
i have lived that mistake so many times- it makes no sense to just keep on repeating it.
i always preach about how important it is to do so.
yet, here i am.
voiceless.
i always say i will try harder to be a better version of myself.
yet here i am, feeling the same way.
i hate myself so unbelievably much.
i might have filled my core with hatred.
i repeat the same mistakes.
i sit down with myself and i think about what i did wrong and how i should act when it happens-
but i just keep on failing most of the time.
and they always say you have to keep on getting up after you fall, but my legs are numb.
