~Anxiety~Christian Akridge AKA Christian Leave (fanfict)

Chapter 2

I realize that I should probably tell you about my family. I do have a complete family, two parents that love each other and two other brothers named Nick and Ben. My parents are very loving people. They have raised my and my brothers in a safe environment and taught us well. My problems have never had anything to do with them. That's why I never told my parents that I hated myself and that every time I look in the mirror I want to throw up. I didn't want them to think they failed as parents. My mom did find her way to find out what was going on. she first realized an increased amount in the makeup I wore and how every morning I would get shaky and nervous for school. She had me going to a therapist once a week to discuss my problems. After many session of getting more comfortable with the therapist, I told her that I fast a lot, I am not happy, I hate the way I look. That's when my life changed. I went from seeing one therapist to 3 and a few times each week. My mom knew all about my anxiety, eating disorder, OCD, and depression. And so did my dad and my brothers.
And when the time was right, I told my friend Casey. She understood the most and I am so glad she did. My family isn't the best people to talk with about my problems.
Anyways, the next morning I woke up at 5:00 to get ready for school. School doesn't start till 7:30 but my bus comes at 6:50 and I need to have a lot of time in the morning to get ready.
I wake up and do my every day morning routine. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face. When I'm done with that I put an outfit on. Today I went with some ripped light washed jeans and tank top with a cardigan. I looked in the mirror. No. these jeans make me look weird. I take them off and fold them up and put them away. I pull out a pair of leggings. No. They show to many curves. I take them off an put them away to pull out another pair of jeans. Ok. I go sit down and apply my makeup. I can't leave the house with out wearing BB cream, foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lip stick. Then I curl my hair and examine myself for a few minutes. I pass my own test.
I skip breakfast with out my parents noticing and run out to get the bus. My anxiety is low but I know it will get higher later. I arrive to school and go too my locker. The day goes by quick and my mom picks me up from school to go see the therapist.
•••
"Something I think you should try, Kayla, is try not wearing makeup to school for a day, realize that there's nothing to worry about."
"I could never do that."
"How come"
"People will notice and think I am ugly"
We do more talking about this topic and soon I am released and allowed to go home. Now I get to go home and do homework. And that is how my life has been happening for the last year now.