~Anxiety~Christian Akridge AKA Christian Leave (fanfict)

Chapter 17

I stare closely at the image and take in every detail. I don't look good in it, I don't know what it is but I look...awkward in a way. I dare myself to look through the comments, and just the first one I saw was enough to make me sick to my stomach.
Ew she's so fat!

Christian can do so much better

She's ugly

😨😷

Ewwwwww

I read 17 hate comments before I forced myself to stop. There was a few nice comment, saying things like
Stop hating her she's beautiful

If your ganna hate on this girl then you are not a true fan. A true fan wants Christian to be happy, and if she makes him happy, you should be happy.

I ignored every nice comment since there were more hate ones. Maybe what they are saying is true, I am fat and ugly and I don't even know why I am dating Christian. I go back onto my phone and click the profile of a girl that said "she's ugly"
Her username is @/nicoledampson
(A/N I don't know if that's actually someone's account, but I just completely made it up so if Nicole Dampson is reading this, I'm obviously not accusing you of anything haha)

I look at her pictures, she has over 4k followers and I can see why. She's gorgeous. There were boys commenting left and right says things like
Dayymm

257-134-7664 text me sometime
(FAKE NUMBER)

I see a picture of her in a bikini. She has a flat stomach and abs. And to top it off, a thigh gap. Why do the meanest people have to be so pretty. It's not fair. Suddenly I feel as though the walls of my room are closing in on me.

I need to cut. I dig around my desk until I find the blade hiding at the bottom on the lowest drawer. I go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet with the lid shut.
1 cut for each comment.
That's 17 cuts. I angle the blade so it's hovering the skin on the inside of my wrist.
She's fat

She's ugly

Eww

I remember every single comment I read and say them in my head as the slide the blade.

Blood drips off the 17 cuts on my wrist. I stare at the wall as a puddle of my blood forms on the floor.

The blood starts drying to my skin. I rinse it underwater to get all the blood away. I wipe up the blood on the floor with a tissue and flush it down the toilet. I pull down my sleeve to cover my wrist and go back to my room. I don't wash my face or brush my teeth or anything. I put on a pair of sweatpants and got into bed.
I toss and turn for hours just replaying every comment in my head.

Fat
Ugly
Ew
Stupid

By 3 o'clock in the morning, I finally fall asleep.