~Anxiety~Christian Akridge AKA Christian Leave (fanfict)

Chapter 4

I looked at that picture of me and Christian for 5 minutes straight. In fact, I couldn't stop. I would have looked at it longer but Christian came on the stage and started talking. He was with some other viners that I know but couldn't care less about. Christian was there and that's all I cared about. The hundreds of girls in the room were screaming for him. All except for me. I tried to smiles slightly to make it look like I was having fun and happy but it was a fail. Christians eyes were constantly skimming the audience as if he was looking for someone. He looked right at me. Was I who he was looking for? I doubt it but when we did make eye contact he smirked a bit. I felt my heart flutter a little. They did more and more talking and entertaining and more and more girls around me were screaming. I wasn't. I need to get out of here and catch my breathe. I inch up to Casey to tell her I am going to the bathroom. "Do you want me to come with you?" She offers. "No it's ok I don't want you to miss this," I smile.
I scramble through the crowd and fine my way to a door. It lead to a hallway that was empty. I walk back and fourth for a while but can't find a bathroom, so I just sit down about 10 feet from the door I came out of.
For minutes upon minutes I sit there listening to the sound of girls screaming of excitement and joy. And here I am, the depressed freak sitting alone because she hates being social. I am startled when I hear the door fly open. My heart stops for the hundredth time today. Christian. He turns quickly to walk down the hallways towards me, but then he sees me. "Oh there you are -hi, Kayla," he acting weird.
I stand up so I am eye level with him. "H-how did you know my name?"
Then I understand it.
"I read that note you gave me," he looks down to his shoes. "oh" I say. "W-Well you probably have to go somewhere, so I won't bother you," My voice cracks a few times. "There's no where I have to go," he looks me in the eyes and his forehand wrinkles. "W-what do you mean?" I question. "I came out here looking for you," he breaths out. "w-what? W-why? There's h-hundreds of girls in there waiting for you" I tell him. "But here's one that was waiting out here for me," he says looking at me in the eyes again. "How did you know where I was?"
"I watched you leave out this door while I was on stage," he smiles a little. "Why did you leave?" He asks. "It's complicated," I look down at my shoes.
"Let's sit," he says and sits down right next to where I was sitting before.

It hit me right then. Christian Leave kissed me on the cheek when he wasn't allowed to. He wanted to pick me up and hold me in a way I have never seen before. He put my note in his pocket so he could read it sooner. He watched me while he was on stage. He saw me leave and followed me out to talk to me. He cares about me. I may never see him again after today and the thought of that scares me to death. If I don't tell him this then I will regret it for the rest of my life. "Ok, I'll tell you," I give in. "You know that I have social anxiety, I hate being in crowds of people like I was today," I tell him realizing that I was less nervous. "I only came because it has been my dream since I started watching you on vine to meet you. I also needed to give you that note," I finish. "When I was in a crowd of screaming girls I could feel my pulse rising and I felt hot, if I stayed in there any longer I was going to faint, that's why I came out here,"
He just stares at his feet, he's think about something. "Can I ask you something?" I ask him and he turns his head towards me. "Yeah,"
"Why did you kiss me? Why did you want to pick me up and take pictures like we are a couple or something?"
"I think your the most beautiful girl in that room, you know that right? The second I saw you walking up to me, my heart sped up, every second I spent with you I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful you are," he answers. My breath got heavy and my pulse rose and I got insanely hot. "Kayla, are you ok?"
I can't answer him. I feel his hand on my cheek. No no no I am not ok I wanna scream but nothing come out. I feel his arms wrap around my body and I am lifted into the air. "No!" I hear myself yell. He is carrying me again, I recognize his scent I smelled from earlier. I look up and I can just see his face, the panicked expression on his face as he looks back at me. "Outside, cold, take me," I hear myself say. "You wanna go outside?" He asks stopping in his tracks. I used all of my last strength to nod my head yes while loosing my breath. He turns around and runs the other direction. When we reach a door he used one of his hands to open it. When we got outside I felt the sunlight on my face. The brisk breeze blew against my skin. "Down" I say and he sits me down against the wall of the building. "Are you ok?" He asks with his warm hand on my cheeks again. I continue to struggle to breath but nod my head yes. He sits next to me and puts his arms around my body. He lets me rest my head on his shoulder and soon my breathing is back to normal.
After siting in silence I lift my head off his shoulder and he looks at me. "I-I'm so sorry," I stutter. "No I'm sorry, I just said something I shouldn't have," he rubs my arm to keep my warm. "No what you said was fine, perfect actually. I have never been called beautiful before. It felt different, but I liked it,"
He looks down silently at his shoes again. He's in a T shirt. "Christian you're in a T-shirt," I say touching his arm. "Oh my gosh your freezing! We need to go back inside now!"
"I'm ok, Kayla" he stops me from standing up. "No you're not look your finger tips are turning purple!" I show him. "Kayla I said I am fine, I am staying out here with you," he pulls his hand back. "Please Christian, I know you want to stay out here with me but you need to go inside! Please!" I try to pull him up. "Kayla just sit next to me, I don't want to go back in there!" He raises his voice. I stop and look at him."Kayla, I am sorry," he says, "I didn't mean to yell,"
"It's fine," I say and sit down next to him again and look off to the left. After another few moments of silence he begins to talk. "I would rather be freezing out here with you then be warm in there" he puts his hand on top of mine. I stare at his hand intensively on top of mine. "Thank you" I look up at him in the eyes and he looks back at mine. Usually this kind of moment is awkward, but not right now. Not with Christian. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. 3:38 p.m. The event ends in 22 minutes. "Kayla," Christian says shakily. "Yeah," I turn him head to his direction. "Give me your phone," he demanded. I handed it to him and he went to my messages. He puts in some numbers and went through my photos and sent that number the pictures of him and I together. "I sent them to myself," he smiles and looks at me again. I chuckle a little. Then he adds his number to my phone and saved it as "Christian 😘" He smiled and turned to wink at me. He hands me back my phone and pulls his phone out of his pocket. The pictures have already been sent to his phone. He saved my number as "Kayla☺️"
"Why that emoji?" I ask him. "Because that's what you look like when you blush," he eyes meet mine again. My smile turns into a frown when I see the time. "5 minutes," I say. "We should go inside now, you should probably get back,"I say. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. He wipes it away and gives me another hug. We walk inside where we both have to go our separate ways. "You just have to keep walking down this hallway and then you'll be at the entrance where you came in" he points. "I would show you but I am not allowed to be seen there until everyone leaves," he apologizes. "That's ok," I whisper. He gives me one more hug before saying good bye. "Bye Kayla," I hear his voice crack slightly. "Bye Christian," I feel myself crying again. With that we both walk our separate ways. My feet move slowly and feel wobbly. I hold back more tears from falling. With out control my feet stop and hold me in place. I turn around and sprint as fast as I can. "Christian wait!" I yell. He turns around and I jump into his arms. Once again, I am in the air and he is holding me. I wrap my arms around his back and burry my face into his neck. Tears rain out of my eyes as I speak. "Christian I needed to thank you. For picking me over the hundreds of girls here today. For following me out here. for bringing me outside." I sob into his neck. "Kayla there's no one in the room that even compares to you, there's no one in that room that I would rather sit in the freezing cold with than you," I hear him crying too, but not as hard as I am. "I can't live if I don't see you ever again, your the reason I woke up yesterday day, the reason I woke up this morning, and the reason I will wake up tomorrow," I tell him. "We will see each other again, Kayla, I have your number," he reminds me. "That's not enough for me, I need to see your face, I want to hug you when I am sad and laugh with you when I am happy," I hold him tighter. "I want the same thing," he whispers and holds me closer to him. "We will see eachother again, that's a promise," he says. He moves his face so that his mouth is on my cheek. He kisses my cheek, I cry a little more. He kisses my cheek more. Just my cheek. Now he moves from the middle of the hallways and pins me against the wall. He looks me in the eyes again and I stare at his. With no warning, he smashes his lips onto mine. I run my fingers through his soft blond hair and he has one hand on my waist moving back and fourth and the other on my cheek. Our lips move in sync, I feel his tongue on my lips, wanting to enter, I let him in. After a few minutes I pull away and he puts me down. "Bye," I say and begin to run away down the hallway. I turn around and he is still standing there.
This all happened so fast. This morning I would have never assumed that by the end of the day Christian Leave and I would make out. My dreams have come true. My feet want to stop me from walking but I don't let them. I remember a saying I hear a while ago...

If you love someone, let them go.