~Anxiety~Christian Akridge AKA Christian Leave (fanfict)

Chapter 19

I shakily pull an old T-shirt over my head and put on a pair of athletic shorts. I place my worn clothes in a neat pile. Am I really going to do this? I ask myself.
Yes.
I decide to dig through the trash and pick out all the tiny pieces of the note Amanda gave to me saying kill yourself. It took me a while but I taped all the pieces together. Then I took my pen and added to the bottom of the note:
P.S. This lovely note was given to me in the middle of class by Amanda Carpenter.
I go on my phone. I need to text Christian something. My fingers hover the keyboard but I can't think of anything to say. After minutes of thinking I just turn off my phone and go into the bathroom with my suicide letter and the note. To my surprise, my pulse doesn't rise, and I don't feel any sense of nervousness. I don't feel anything really. I don't feel sad for myself I don't feel sad for my family. This is going to end my problem. No one can call me fat or ugly ever again.

I turn the faucet on and the bathtub slowly fills with water. I put my letter and the note on the ledge of the bathtub. I go through the medicine cabinet and find a pair of scissors and make 6 more final cuts on my wrists. Then I find the pills my mom gives me when I can't sleep. I take one last look at myself in the mirror. This is it, Kayla. My fingers latch the lid of the small dispenser, holding about 18 pills. I am going to take them all.
I take a few at a time and when I am done I sit on the edge of the bathtub and wait for it to kick in as drops of my blood drip to the floor.

Ben's P.O.V
I sit quietly in my room finishing my homework. Ryan comes in and asks me if I want to play video games but I can't. I am going to fail this english test and I still have so much to study. He leaves the room. While trying to focus as hard as I could I hear a loud bang in the bathroom. What the? I know Kayla's in there, but she never takes baths anymore. I get up and knock on the door to the bathroom. "Kayla?"
No answer. I try again. Still no answer. Now I start to panic. "Kayla! Are you in there?"
Still no fucking answer which leaves me no choice. I have to bust down the door. I kick with all my might several times and slam my body into it until the door crashes down into the bathroom.
"Kayla?"

Oh my god.

Kayla's P.O.V
I am almost there. When you die, you are supposed to see a bright light flash in front of you, but for now it's just darkness. I can't see anything, hear anything, or feel anything, but I know what's going on.
They say that suicide is the most selfish thing one could do, but I disagree. What's selfish is making someone sit through the life they hate just so they will be there for you. They also say suicide is the permanent answer to a temerity problem. Whoever said that had no idea what it feels like.

Ben's P.O.V
I know what the noise was now. The water in the tub is red and in it lied my little sister. I run as fast as I can and pull her out and shake her. "Kayla, Kayla, wake up!" I demand. She has cuts all over her wrists. She isn't breathing. "Ryan get in the car now!" I scream for the entire New York to hear. "What?" He groans walking out of his room until he sees me carrying Kayla. "We have to go to the hospital," I say, "get a blanket and get my keys,"
"Did she...?"
"Yeah," I say feeling a sense of panic inside of me.
I drive the car and Kayla sit with Ryan in the passenger seat. "Kayla, wake up please," Ryan keeps saying while shaking her. The car ride is 10 minutes until we pull up to the hospital. We run in and immediately, receive full attention. Ryan carried Kayla bridal style while I open the doors for him. A nurse pulls over a wheel chair and for quite possibly the last time, I kiss my sister on the forehead and put her hand in mine. "You have to stay in the waiting room until further noticed," another nurse says in a rush. I hold onto Kayla's hand until the last second as my fingers run over her cuts. I don't wash her blood on my hand. I just sit next to Ryan who has his face in his palm. He's handling this a lot better than me. "We should call mom and dad," he says, "but I didn't bring my phone,"
"I have mine in my pocket," I pull it out and give it to him, "I can't do it," I say. He dials my moms number and starts talking. "Hi mom...yeah...you need to come to the hospital...no...yeah it's Kayla...ok....bye," he hangs up and gives me back my phone.
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Short chapter but a lot has happened clearly so I'll try to update soon. Have a great weekend😊