Okiee I'm back after a year😂
But anyways enjoy reading😘
~~~
They bumped into each other at the intersection of 23rd and 24th street.
Lisa stops mid-apology upon seeing who it is, her eyes revealing the surprise she feels upon meeting Jennie after a long time of not being able to.
Jennie stands there speechless, her heart stopping at the sight of a whole Lisa.
Lisa used to be in pieces, vulnerable shards with sharp edges that mean nothing but a ghost of a one strong soul.
She isn't ready for this. She will probably never be ready. She has never gotten over the guilt.
Of breaking Lisa.
Of leaving.
Of being a coward.
Jennie opens her mouth to whisper an apology, for exactly what? She doesn't know. But no words come out, as if a part of her knows that it will never be enough.
Two years.
Two years ago, she tells her that she's tired.
Two years ago, she chooses to break her heart to save hers.
Then she disappears from her life.
"Coffee?" she asks before Lisa can walk away.
When Lisa turns around and smiles at her, she breaths.
~~~~~~
She cannot take her eyes off Lisa.
Lisa has always been beautiful. She was that kind of beauty that doesn't hit on the face, a quiet delicateness that slowly touches the subconsciousness until there is no turning back.
It's different now. Lisa still possesses that silent appeal, but she is no longer quiet. There is fierceness in her that tells her she is no longer that woman she loved wholly then broke into pieces.
But she missed her.
She had missed her, longed for her for a long time and she needs to tell her.... that she still does.
"I miss you." She blurted.
Lisa stops midway of drinking her coffee, she puts down her cup and stares at Jennie silently.
"I.... I-i am missing you more that i thought i would"
It is a simple confession, but it spits thorns that have been holding her heart in its wistful incarceration.
She waits for Lisa to say something, to acknowledge the pain she doesn't realize she's been keeping inside for a long time. She stares at her cold cup of coffee.
"I...wish i knew what to say." Lisa says.
She sounds sorry. And Jennie finds that she cannot accept it. She knowas she doesn't have the right to question what Lisa feels, but the words still slip out before she can even stop herself.
"You never mourned for me, for us" Jennie says quietly. She sounds bitter. Why is Lisa isn't affected as she is?
Lisa smiles.
"You didn't deserve my pain, you still don't"
It strikes her-- straight to the core of soul.
"You chose to break my heart," Lisa adds, ignoring Jennie's obvious flinch."I know it couldn't have been avoided. If there is one thing i know about this, is that you can't choose who to love."
Lisa isn't holding back with her words.
"I was too old to mourn over something that wasn't meant for me, I still am," she says, her eyes never leaving Jennie's as she touches the rim of her cup with her fingers.
Jennie almost smiles. She used to tease her about how long her fingers are, but she knows she isn't allowed to do that anymore.
"I'm sory," is all that she can say. Lisa shakes her head.
"Don't be. It's too late for that now."
Jennie smile weakly."I am still sorry"
"I know. But back then you were too old to play games too, but you still decided to emerge as the winner."
Fuck that hurts. Not because of the words that bluntly come out of her mouth, but because Lisa says that with that toothy smile that tells her Lisa had moved on.
And she hasn't.
She still cannot get over her actions.
They sat there silently, something they had done that night two years ago.
Then Lisa stands up and says a polite "Goodbye"
As she watches Lisa walk away from her, an emotion resurfaces, refusing to be willed down as it struggles to push it's way to the top of her consciousness.
She knows it's too late.
"It's to late to love you.
But i can.
And if you still allow me.
I will love you.
One day at a time.
Even if its from a distance."
~~~~~~~
Okaaaaay i miss doing this so,
how was it?
More?😂
