Just Hold Me (Sidney Crosby) EDITING THEN CONTINUING

Chapter 16 - He Likes Me

Sidney pulls up in a sports car. A nice red one with gleaming headlights from the sun.

"Hey Beautiful."

"Hello Handsome."

He climbed out of the car, his long, toned, lean legs plopping on the ground with a small scrape of pavement beneath his Adidas.

He seemed to have his own personal breeze that followed him wherever he goes. A breeze that could warm you in winter and cool you in the summer.

He walked towards me in big strides. His black t shirt and blue jeans..mmm yes...just yes.

I could smell his cologne and deodorant and I wanted to hug him.

His hair in messy curls, but also in a designer's hairdo.

He spoke again, his big, perfect, white teeth coming into view between his pink lips.

"Are you ready?" Was all he said. But then again it wouldn't take much to make me fall head over heels in love with him, being the way he is.

That was all he needed to say to make me want him or maybe even need him.

I could barely speak. Or at least I thought I couldn't.

"Y—yes of course."

He smiled at me, his top teeth showing off their perfection.

I want to kiss him right now.

But being the panicky, anxious little shit I am, I tried to avoid the urge.

He stuck out his hand, his long fingers trapping my tiny hand in his.

He walked me to my door and opened it for me.

He doesn't even know how nice that is, I thought as he closed it for me also.

He opened his door and barely stepped up to get into the car. It was regular routine for him, but something new for me. It was exciting really. I loved how he and I were so different, but yet we were so the same. It gives me a feeling I just can't explain.

He starts the car, and automatically music poured out of the speakers. They must have been as loud as they could've been.

"AH SHIT!" He exclaims, jumping back as the music screams at him.

I laugh at him, putting my head down. I place a hand over my eyes, laughing out loud.

He laughs too and when I look up we are both red in the face.

"Nice going." I joke.

"It really was a smooth move."

———————-

"So how old are you?" Sidney asks.

"21." I say proudly.

"Did you just get out of school?"

"Yeah, West Virginia University. What did you hate about school? Just wanting to throw out a random question.."

"Hmph. Honestly, I hate those teachers who didn't let you go to the bathroom because "too many people went already". Like yeah, but none of those people were me and our bladders aren't connected, so just because they peed already doesn't mean I don't have to pee anymore."

"I know the feeling." I say back.

"What did you hate about school?" He asks me.

"A lot of things. Like...lemme just tell you, I got into a lot of trouble in school, so when I tell you this, just know that I'm not that big of a douche anymore. Okay? Okay."

He gasped, but then, trying to hide it, clasped a hand over his mouth.

Did I make a reference or something

Hm.

"Haha. Anyways, In eighth grade, I had this Science teacher that sucked ass. Like major. She'd hand us a paper and say do it, and any time we would ask for help she would say "Look it up in the book" or "You should already know. I went over this. This is why your GPAs are so low." So like 3/4 of the eighth grade were either failing right?. Yeah, so I got this test back with I think a...53 on it. Pretty much my whole class failed that test, and we got the usual lecture of how we suck. So, at the end of that class period, I wrote her a note."

That's when I started to giggle.

Aw, good times. Good times.

"Tell me." He said.

"I wrote, and I quote, 'Dear ___, when 90% of us fail, it isn't that we didn't try. It's because you're a terrible teacher.' It doesn't seem that funny now, but it seriously was when I was 13."

I look over at Sid. He's cracking up. His face was all red, and his eyes were wet from tears. I didn't think it was funny, but who am I to judge the funniness of something to someone else?

"What do you enjoy? Like what do you love the most?" He asks me.

"Movies, Starbucks, cuddling, lazy days, sweatpants, hockey, baseball, wifi, food, Nutella, music, Tumblr, Instagram, magazines, books, shopping, friends, hoodies, leggings, sleepovers, weekends, hugs, laughing, photos, holidays, traveling and good memories. To be honest."

"Ha! Are you ever mad? It seems you are too happy!" He smiles, hugely.

My smile threatens to disappear.

"I can be very mad. Most would not want to be around me when I'm upset. But I don't really blame them. It's actually a smart move on their part."

"Why?"

"I'll end up cussing you out, saying things I don't mean, and not be able to apologize later because I get embarrassed."

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it." He says, smirking.

I turn in my seat, my leg pushed under the other. I face him.

"I have 3 types of mad. Okay? When I'm so mad I cry. When I'm so mad I just snap. And when I'm so mad I just don't want to talk to anybody. And Sidney, it's worse than you think."

"It just never occurred to me that you could ever be upset."

"High school was the worst. Weight was always a problem for me. With all these girl in the 100-120 range, I was the bigger girl. I lost count of how many times I wanted to or tried to end my life."

He was silent for a moment, perhaps shocked, perhaps upset, perhaps angry. I couldn't tell. He looked emotionless. He was hard to read. Harder than anyone else I've met.

"If you wanted to kill yourself, why didn't you?" He asked, curious.

"Because tomorrow could've been the day I'd been waiting for." I say, looking him in the eyes.

I look away as he parks the car in front of the hockey arena.

"Just remember this." He begins.

I turn back towards him, listening to what I should remember.

You are a human being. You are a human being. Humans get hungry. Humans get tired. Humans forget. Humans have emotions. You are a human being and losing control is normal. Just make sure that you don't let that loss of control define you because humans are strong. Humans recover. Humans are built to survive. You are a human being. Don't be mean to yourself. Please."