Just Hold Me (Sidney Crosby) EDITING THEN CONTINUING

Chapter 35 - Alone and Cold

"Why aren't you eating?" Sidney asks, his fork going back to his spaghetti. My heads snaps up from my lap where my hands rested, intertwined with each other. His eyes are on me, his jaw moving up and down, his mouth closed, chewing his food.

I tried not to smell it.

It looked good, but I can't eat it. My stomach isn't rumbling so I'm not hungry. It's all in my head. I'm not really hungry. My brain just wants me to think I am.

"Not hungry." I say, smiling a small closed smile.

Sidney moves his fork on his plate, stabbing his noodles slowly, making small clanking noises. He glances down at his food and then back at me. "Why not?"

My mouth opens, but there was nothing I could say. I mean...I'm just not hungry.

"I'm just not," I finally say, after what seemed like forever. He continued to jab at his plate with his fork, and I started getting used to the sound.

"Are you..alright?" He asks me, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at my behavior. I've been eating what I want for the past two weeks and I probably am getting bigger already. I'm just cutting down.

But I couldn't tell him that.

Not ever.

So I just shrugged, not wanting to be on this topic any more than neccessary.

The clanking of his fork stopped and his eyes hardened. I watched him carefully, sitting across from him, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

I feel uncomfortable now that the sounds of scraping from his fork had stopped, somehow making me feel out in the open, even though we were alone in his home, back in Pittsburgh, with the doors locked, and the snow pouring down.

"What's wrong?" He asks me, setting down his fork, and placing both of his elbows on the table.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." I say, trying to reassure him, placing one of my hands on his.

He glances at our hands and then back to me.

"Why aren't you eating?" He asks me again, getting irritated.

"I'm going to eat it. I'll just eat it later." I say, but his eyes were still hard, still angry. "I promise."

I stand up and put my plate in the fridge. I close the door slowly and turn around to see Sidney's chest in my face.

"Why do you keep lying to me?" He asks me, his voice tinted with anger.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, brows furrowing, my hands sweating. "I haven't lied to you."

Lie.

"No, no, you keep telling you're okay, and you're not. You're lying."

"I'm not lying." Lie. "Why are accusing me?"

"I'm not accusing you."

"Seriously? Yes, you are. This is clearly an accusation." I say to him.

"Just tell me what's wrong." He says, placing a hand beside my head on the fridge behind me, closing me in.

"There's nothing to tell." I say, looking away.

He hastily removes his hand and backs away. "Fine." He says. "Do that. Go ahead and lie."

"I'm sleeping on the couch." He says, shattering my heart.

"Fine. Go ahead...Sid."

He nods with angry sarcastic smile.

"Yeah." He says, rubbing his chin and walking away.

I storm to the bedroom and shut the door behind me.

This has been the most civilized fight we've had so far, and I have to say I'm impressed. No screaming, no grabbing, no pushing. This is a new record.

But I don't want to fight with him. I never would want to make him upset. So I'll just ignore him. Yeah.

In fact I'll go to sleep right now.

I take off my shirt and bra and get ourt one of Sidney's tshirts and a pair of boxers.

I slip on his shirt and pull off my jeans, sliding on his boxers.

I pull back the covers to his bed and rest my head on the pillow after turning off the lamp on the bedside table.

I tried to snuggle with covers, but I felt cold.

*Sidney's Point of View*

I need my pajamas. I stand up from the couch and walk down the hallway and to my room. The door was closed and the light was already off.

I opened the door and peared in. Hannah was laying in my bed, fast asleep.

Trying not to wake her, I hurriedly opened my dressers and pulled out some PJs.

Then when I turned around to leave, I just stared at her. So beautiful laying there.

I huff to myself and just left, not being able to stand the guilt I had rising in my chest, ready to overflow, and poison my veins like aclohol.

*Hannah's Point of View*

That was it. That was when I felt it.

When he just left, I felt more alone than ever.

I thought that feeling was gone.

This is all my fault.

*A/N: Again, this is disgustingly short, and I apologized for that. Forgive me Padre for I have siiinned! Lol. Sorry I haven't been updating either. Just been lazy and I pretty much have no access to the internet and not a lot of time to think about what I want to write about and publish to you guys. Gonna try a lot harder! Love you guys!