Shae ran her fingers over the needlework in her lap for what must be the fifteenth time, but she could not quite bring herself to return to it. Glancing out the window, she wished she could go outside and do some target practice. After having had a bow during their travels, she missed the feel of the grip in her hand. She sighed, wishing things were different. Wishing she didn't feel so lonely.
Even sitting in a drawing room with twelve other women, her ladies-in-waiting, she felt alone. It had only been a few days since they returned, but she and Felix had slipped back into their old patterns as if nothing had happened. After having been gone for so long, the council needed his presence and he had been a scarce sight in their shared drawing room. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed their chats. Their time together on the road was the closest she had felt to anyone other than Mio in years.
Looking around the room, she watched the faces of her ladies-in-waiting. They were women she saw every day, but she wouldn't consider anyone a friend. There was always that distance between them and she didn't know how to breach it. Didn't even know if she wanted to.
She wondered if it would have been different if she had been allowed to choose them herself instead of them all being sent to her by the Kingdoms of Erya. It was a great honour to be a lady-in-waiting to the High King's queen, an honour automatically granted to the wives of the High Council. Twelve council members, one from each kingdom, giving her twelve ladies-in-waiting. A ridiculous number. Did anyone need that many? It seemed unthinkable. But any kingdom left out would have complained and the High King always had to appear equally fair to all.
Unable to stay seated any longer, she stood. "Please excuse me, ladies. I am weary and will retire to my chambers."
One lady stood to follow. A tall, blonde woman from the island kingdom of Bergen by the name of Hedda. With there being so many of them, they took turns helping her with her routine. As they left the drawing room, Shae could hear the concerned murmurs of the remaining women. She knew they had noticed a change in her since her return, but they had chalked it up to her 'stressful ordeal'.
An ominous prickle at the back of her neck made her stop and look around the hallway, frowning. It was empty, save from her lady-in-waiting and a knight of the King's Guard at the far end.
"Your Majesty?" Hedda queried. "Is something the matter?"
"No." She rolled her shoulders, trying to get rid of the prickle, but it persisted. "I thought I heard something, but it was nothing. Let's go."
Unsettled, she continued to the private royal chambers with Hedda by her side. The tall woman helped her undress and into a nightgown, then combed her long auburn hair before leaving. Shae couldn't decide whether she felt more, or less, alone when she was physically so. Probably equal. With a sigh, she slipped the nightgown over her head. She hadn't lied when she told Felix she preferred sleeping naked. Whenever she wore a nightgown to bed, she always woke up feeling trapped, as it would get twisted around her in sleep. Which brought on the panic and the memories of being rolled into her bedsheets and thrown over the shoulder of the enemy.
Shaking her head, she willed the images to go away. She would not think about that night. She took a deep, shaky breath. Then another. Lying down in bed, she concentrated on the feeling of the sheets against her skin, the firmness of the pillow against the back of her head. Another deep breath, calmer now.
YOU ARE READING
Bowstrings & Velvet (Spellbound #1)
FantasyShae, the High Queen of Erya, has one rule: Not to fall in love with her husband. Three years into their arranged marriage, Shae is still ignoring her attraction to the handsome king. A simple task when everyone knows the rumours of his love affair...