Chapter 18: Shared Experiences

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Once Mio had gone off with his nannies for his lessons, Shae sent for one of her ladies-in-waiting to assist her in getting dressed. A task that was a lot more difficult than it ought to be, owing to her aching arm. It was frustrating as she had been certain she was on the mend, and then as she woke up this morning, she'd felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed her in the arm. Again.

It was noon by the time she found Castel in the kitchens having a meal. His eyes widened in shock as he saw her enter the kitchens, not unlike most of the kitchen staff. She didn't much care, as she wanted to speak to him and didn't want to wait.

"Your Majesty!" He got off the stool he'd been sitting on by a workbench and sketched her a bow.

She waved away his deference and indicated for him to sit back down, which he hesitantly did. While she considered them friends, and she believed he would agree, he was loath to relax protocol, always aware of her higher rank and his need to act within the bounds of propriety.

"Should you be up and about?" he asked warily as he eyed her. "It's only been a few days."

"I'm well enough, and I was growing bored staring at the four walls of my bedchamber. I heard you will leave us." She crossed her arms over her chest. It was selfish of her, but she didn't want her only friend in the castle to go away. Cas's friendly face had been the one constant in her life these past few years.

"Your Majesty, I—" He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "It has been an honour to protect you. All of you. The High King and the prince as well. But I believe I can be of more use if I join this expedition. I will return here once we complete the mission."

"I certainly do expect you to come back," she said sternly. "That's an order."

A smile flashed across his face before he schooled his features and nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty."

Putting a hand on his armour-clad arm, she searched his warm brown eyes for some sign of his reasons for leaving. "Why though? There are plenty of other excellent commanders and soldiers. Why must you go?"

He stared into his bowl of half-eaten stew for a moment, and she felt a stab of guilt for disturbing him during his break. Finally, he sighed. "I suppose you could say my reasons are personal."

"You don't have to tell me." She shouldn't have put him on the spot. If he didn't want to share his reasons, she had no right to know them and she shouldn't have pushed. "I only wish for you to stay safe."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Do not worry for me, Your Majesty. I will be fine."

"I hope so. I care for you, Castel, and I would hate to lose you." She smiled wryly. "You might very well be the only friend I have here."

Pushing his bowl away, Cas stood. He was nearly as tall as Felix, and she had to crane her neck slightly to meet his gaze. The warmth in his eyes had reignited as he smiled slightly. "Far be it from me to tell a queen what to do..."

"But you are still going to, aren't you?" she muttered even while his words amused her.

"You might find yourself with more friends if you allow them the chance to get to know you."

She scoffed, but she had been thinking exactly that herself recently. It was rather concerning that her reticence around others was so obvious. But he was right. She needed to allow people close or her existence would remain the lonely wasteland it currently was, and she was tired of it. Tired of being alone.

"I will try," she allowed.

Castel bowed. "You are a remarkable person, Your Majesty. Anyone would be lucky to consider themselves your friend."

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