Bowstrings & Velvet (Spellbound #1)

Chapter 16: A New Step

When Shae eventually emerged from behind the screen, wearing her dressing gown tightly tied at the waist, she found Felix sitting on her bed with his stack of letters, and his hair on end from raking his hand through it one time too many. He looked up as she approached, gave her short robe a quick glance, and then returned to his papers with a new furrow between his eyebrows. Maybe he could tell that she had nothing on underneath the thin fabric. Since she preferred sleeping naked, it seemed pointless to get dressed after the bath.

Keeping his eyes firmly on the letter he was currently reading, he muttered something inaudible under his breath. She could have sworn he said 'May the Gods have mercy'.

"Felix?"

"Yes?" He didn't look up.

"Why won't you look at me?" She was fairly certain she knew why, but she perversely asked anyway.

With a sigh, he put his work down on the bed and stood. After running his hand through his blond hair, he finally looked at her. The tense line of his mouth pricked her with guilt for torturing him on purpose.

"I think you know the answer to that question, Shae."

She gathered her long, damp hair over her shoulder and braided it, wanting to keep her fingers occupied. Giving him a look of wide-eyed innocence, she said, "I'm not sure that I do. Would you like to enlighten me?"

His eyes darkened as his gaze travelled over her form, and her skin heated from his obvious admiration. The robe hid little, made of sheer white silk, with elbow-length wide sleeves. It had been created for her wedding chest, probably intended as a wedding night treat. She had never used it for that but liked the feel of it and it had become her most-worn evening garment. Because of its initial purpose, its length was shorter than average dressing gowns, finishing inches above her knees. Something Felix seemed to appreciate as he followed the length of her bare legs with his eyes.

When his gaze finally returned to hers, he shook his head slightly. "You may be inexperienced in some ways, Shae, but you're not naive. You know full well how you affect me."

She frowned at his words. "I'm not inexperienced, we've—"

"Made love?" He let out a humourless laugh.

"I was going to say had intercourse," she muttered, not appreciating his wry humour.

"No, Shae." His words were soft, but there was a hollow quality in his voice. "What we've done is neither of those things. Our times together have been the bare minimum required to procreate. Before that night at the inn, we had never kissed. You barely allow me to touch you." Tilting his head back, he stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to her. "There is a lot more to it than what we have done together. So I would not call you experienced. I don't mean it as an offence. Just stating facts."

Cheeks burning, she stubbornly kept her gaze on him. "If you say so," she said stiffly.

"Do you disagree?" The question hung potently between them with all that it implied. "When we first wed, you set the rules of our marriage, and because of the situation, I agreed. Your father used you as a bartering chip, so making the transition as easy as possible for you felt like the least I could do." He smiled wryly. "You've obviously never wanted to be closer to me than you absolutely had to... and I won't assume you've not found release elsewhere. I would never blame you if you did. You never chose this marriage. Your father did."

"Are you asking if...?" She couldn't help but stare at him.

"No." He sighed. "Merely saying. You don't owe me anything, and if you have, that is none of my concern. Though I won't lie and say I wouldn't be jealous."