One More Time || Roman Reigns (ON HOLD)

Chapter Nineteen - I-I lo-love you

A year went by since Seth went to jail.

A whole year that I survived of not thinking about him.

I had promised myself the day that he went to jail that I would not cry or even think about him. And so far, I've been doing great.

And it's been a whole year since me and Roman have been together. It's been longer for Paige and Dean, though. They are thriving together. A perfect couple, yes.

But one day, I get a letter from the prison that Seth is currently held up in, and my whole world changed by his haunting words.

   Mia,
       Look, I'm being held in some sort of small hole and it sucks. I miss seeing your face. Good thing they let me send this to you. I guess that I've been being a good boy.
      I find it messed up how you put me into your little trap. You wanted me to go to jail. But that's okay. I still and always will love you.
      I'll be coming back for you, Mia. Don't forget it.
                                                                                                 -Seth

"He won't. He won't. He's only trying to scare you. You have a perfect life now. Don't mess it up." I said to myself.

"Babe, you okay?"

I quickly turned my head to see Roman who was standing in the doorway of our bedroom. "Ye-yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? What's that piece of paper?"

I quickly shoved the paper in my pocket. "Nothing. Just a letter from an old friend."

"Pssh. That friend of yours is out of date. No one uses letters anymore."

I laughed nervously. "Ye-yeah."

He gave me a confused look, but then shrugged and asked, "What does the queen want to do today?" He asked. I thought. What would be a good thing to do to get everything off my mind? Mall? Restaurant? Bar?

"I have an idea." I said, smiling.

"And it is?"

"Let's call AJ, Paige, Dean, Phil, and Se-" I stopped myself and put a hand to my mouth before I could finish saying his name. How could I be so stupid? I just said part of his name infront of Roman! That means Roman knows I've been thinking about Seth.

I stared at Roman with wide eyes. He looked upset, but not really angry. I sighed and said, "I didn't mean to say that, Roman, I swear."

"Oh, I know."

"So you aren't mad?"

"Well I'm not happy that his name came out of your mouth, but other than that, no I'm not mad."

"Roman, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry."

I let out a sigh.

"I don't want to come second after that bastard, Mia."

"You aren't second. You're my number one. The only one on my list."

"Good."

We sat there in silence. We didn't look at each other or anything.

I had a mixture of feelings flowing through me; sadness, anger, and the feeling that I was being selfish.

I was sad because I don't want to lose Roman, but I don't want to lose Seth. I was angry at myself because I kept thinking about Seth even though I was with Roman. I felt like I was being selfish because I've been going back and forth on two different men. I already have a great man, but I keep thinking about someone else.

And that someone else is Seth.

Even though Seth beat and raped me, I still have these strong feelings for him. I still love him.

And I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.

"Have you been thinking about Seth?" Roman asked out of the blue. I turned my head to look at him. "What?"

"Have you been thinking about Seth? I won't get mad at your answer."

Should I tell him that I've been think about Seth? Maybe Roman could help me forget him and leave him behind. Maybe I could finally just be happy with Roman without thinking about Seth all the time.

I sighed. "Yeah." I said, looking down.

"Well I'll do anything to get him out of your mind. Anything to keep him away from you." He said, putting his hand on top of mine.

"Let's just do something together. Just the two of us." I said, looking into his beautiful brown eyes.

He smiled at me and got off the bed. "You get ready. I'll meet you down in the lobby in about an hour."

"Roman, but your stuff is here."

"Yeah, I know. But I also have stuff in Dean's and Paige's room."

"Why would you have stuff there?"

"In case I get locked out."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him and crossed my arms.

"It's happened before." He walked over to me and planted a kiss on my lips. "I love you, Mia."

Great. He loves me. How am I supposed to say it back?

I mean, I do love him, but every time I say it to his face I get scared and I start to stutter. And there's only one reason why.

Seth.

"I lo-love y-y-you, too."

Roman gave me a puzzled look. "Are you okay?"

"F-feeling well, yes."

"Okay..." He said before he slowly walked out of the room. 

God, why did this have to happen?