Action

Mr. Stark's revenge- heart attack prank *bad idea*

The video opens to a close-up of Tony's face. He fiddles with the camera for a moment, before setting it down and backing away. He appears to be in the living room.

"Alright, here's what's going on," he begins explaining. "Peter is at school right now, so I thought I'd set this up. If you're new to the Ironfam, you should know that a few weeks ago, Peter decided it would be a good idea to prank me.'

{static cut}

Peter takes about three steps before he drops like his strings have been cut. Tony cries out, barely catching him before he's hit the floor. He staggers under the sudden weight of the teen, and gently lowers both of them to the ground. Peter's head is resting in his lap, and Tony starts patting his cheeks.

"Kid. Underoos, come on," Tony says urgently, giving Peter's shoulders a gentle shake. "Pete. Peter! Come on, kid, wake up. No-no sleeping on the job, come on kid, up you get."

{static cut}

"Now," Tony continues. "Peter thought it was hilarious. I, however, did not. I was so mad for a bit, but you know, we talked it out, everything's good now. Of course, I did say-"

{static cut}

"Yeah, well..." Tony sighs. "Just expect me to get you back when you least expect it, kid. You have no idea what can of worms you just opened. Also, Barnes? Rogers? Barton? If any of you are watching this, which I assume you are, prepare for a cloud of hellfire to rain down on you for somehow convincing my kid that this was a good idea. ****. You."

{static cut}

"I did rain a cloud of hellfire down on Barnes, Rogers, and Barton," Tony shrugs towards the camera. "It was not my fault that certain people are easily convinced with one million dollars to pack up and pretend they've abandoned their loved ones. It's also not my fault that Steve had never had a pot brownie. Just as it is not my fault that Barnes's metal arm has fantastic nerve sensors that pick up on itching powder very well. That's Shuri's faults."

{static cut}

Clint and Tony are sitting on a couch in an unknown, but cozy, living room. Clint is sobbing into Tony's shoulder.

"She just left!" he sobbed, brandishing a piece of paper. "She just said she hates me and left! She even took everyone with her! She didn't even leave me a chicken!"

"There, there," Tony says, awkwardly patting Clint's head. He then turns and winks at the camera.

{static cut}

"I ******* love America," Steve declares, sitting on the couch on the common floor of the Tower. Tony is sitting across the room, laughing his butt off. "It's so... it's just so good. It's so ******* good. America is the ****. It's just... it's so ******* amazing. Like... patriotism. ****. It's amazing. It's fantastic. It's... America, man. Hey, that's me! I'm America Man!"

Steve begins laughing uncontrollably. Insane, unbridled laughter fills the room from both Steve and Tony. The elevator dings, and Bucky enters the room.

"Are you... are you okay?" he asks uncertainly, looking mildly afraid.

"I'm ******* fantastic," Steve announces, standing up, walking over to Bucky, and kissing him full on the mouth. He then steps away, turns on his heel, and struts out of frame. "God bless ******* America!" he shouts over his shoulder.

Bucky is standing, shell-shocked, in front of the elevator.

"You good?" Tony asks, finally getting his laughter under control.