Recklessly (Lumity)

Chapter Four - Closet

Amity's P.O.V

Sitting alone during lunch for the first time in years was unusual. It's not because people hate me, but because I didn't want to be around anyone after hearing Luz's words. She didn't want to talk to each other at all anymore, she wanted us to be completely ignorant of each other. How could I ignore someone that I've started to love?

We haven't talked in three years and when we have again, she's pushed me away. I don't blame her for not trusting me after what I did to her but I just wish she would listen to me. I'd tell her the reasons I pushed her away, the main reason I started ignoring her. I'm not sure who she is mad at, me or herself, maybe both. I honestly wanted to just walk up to her and tell her everything that's been on my mind for the past three years.

Luz wasn't at lunch and the thought of her being hurt made me sad and scared. If she doesn't want me around her anymore, I can't save her from the people that hurt her. Luz gets bullied a lot, especially by Ember and Andrea. About everyone in this school hates her and I don't know why, she's an amazing person, even when she gets upset. She's hurt me greatly yet I still love her, I love someone who I haven't talked to in years.

"Well, this is a sad sight. Where are all your friends Amity?" That awful voice, just the sound of it made me want to punch the daylights out of her. Ember Wilde, the girl that pushes everyone around in this school.

"I chose to be alone today so go bother someone else with your stupid insults." Ember scoffed and sat across from me. She held her head in her hands, watching me carefully. The stare she was holding was nearly creepy and I wanted to throw milk in her face, dump my food on her, anything!

"And why are you staring at me exactly?" She gave me a sweet smile when I asked, treating me like I'm some dumb child. If anyone is the dumb child here, it's her.

"You're just so beautiful Amity." She reached her hand to grab mine but I ripped it away. I gave her a disgusted look, hoping to make her stop and leave me alone. She just laughed that annoying laugh and got up. For a second I thought that maybe she was leaving but I saw her walk over to the seat next to me.

"Get away from me you psychopath." I kept my eyes forward, not even daring to look at her. If I glanced at her she would probably act all stupid and say that she loves me still. I wasn't in the mood for her petty games.

"C'mon Amity, stop being stubborn," She once again grabbed my hand, "look at me." Instead of looking at her, I ripped my hand from hers and dumped my milk all over her.

"We're not dating anymore, Ember! Get over yourself and get over me, you made up your mind when you broke up with me. So live with the choices you made and move on!" My heart was beating so fast, everyone was staring at us now like we were some drama show. I picked up my tray and dumped the food in the trash, not looking back to the mess that I made.

I know the consequences that were to come from me dumping milk all over Ember but it was worth it. Seeing the shocked and angry look on her face was priceless. She never saw it coming and that's the best part of it all, she expected me to just walk away but she was way wrong. Luz would probably laugh and give me a high five, but not before staring at me like I was crazy.

The thought of Luz's reaction brought my mood down, remembering the reality of our relationship. I couldn't even tell her about this amazing moment because she would just push me away. I wish more than anything that I could see her laugh, see her eyes light up as I tell her the story of me dumping milk on Ember. Too bad that will never happen.

I couldn't stop myself from looking at Luz, wishing we were how we used to be. It hurt to even look at her but I couldn't turn my head away from her. I wanted to build the confidence to walk over and talk to her, even if she gets mad at me. Seeing her brown eyes almost a lifeless color made my heart shatter, she was terribly hurt all because of me. All because I pushed her away three years ago and never told her why.