Born To Hail

Chapter 1

Sebastian lay there in silence, enclosed in a world of darkness. Thoughts running through the downward spiral of his mind. Thoughts always to the past of what he used to have. With a broken heart he lay there as a fresh wave of tears ran down his cheeks. He welcomed the dark. It seemed fitting, for there were no bright thoughts in his head, nor did he believe there would be a bright future for him.

"Is it day or night?" He asked himself out loud. Whether day or night his tiny apartment remained devoid of any natural light. He hated the sun and the lies that each ray brought with it. Lies of hope, joy, love and laughter. Sebastian hated all of it. He never used to be this way, so angry and cynical, but that's what lost love does to you.

If Sebastian would've seen this reflection of himself months ago he would not have believed he would turn out this way. He was living a relatively happy life with his five year old son Brodie and his wife Eve. They had been high school sweethearts and got married shortly after graduation. Brodie was conceived on their wedding night. Sebastian believed he was living a fairy-tale. Marrying the girl of his dreams, the only girl he has ever, or will ever love, or so he believed.

Reality came crushing down on him slowly at first. Having started a family so soon after high school he never attended college, but went straight to trying to find a stable job. Having only a high school diploma he was only able to land entry level factory jobs. Holding on to more traditional values he tried being the sole provider. Leaving Eve at home to care for and raise his son. After a couple years of moving around and at times sharing a home with a family member they finally found some stability. It was then that Seb's walls off fantasy came crumbling down around him.

Having come from a lower middle class family, Sebastian was accustomed to this type of life. He wanted a better life for his son, as all parents do, but was equipped with the resilience to handle their life. Eve on the other hand came from more of an upper class family. She, having lived in the same house her entire childhood, was not so accepting to this brand of life.

Sebastian left work one day, like most other days, eager to get home to his family. Driving home with high hopes for the future. He had been at this job for a time now and things seemed to be getting better for the Hail household.

"No more moving!" He exclaimed to himself, hope ringing clearly in his voice. That thought repeating in his head the entire ride home. Building strength within him he hadn't felt in the recent years. Confidence, that's what that strength was. So the sweet thoughts carried on with him to his home.

"Eve. Brodie. I'm home." Sebastian called out walking into his house. Normally he wouldn't need to call out his arrival. Brodie usually was on the other side of the door waiting for his dad to walk in. The house was quiet. Thinking they must have walked to the park, Sebastian jumped in the shower to clean off the filth of another work day. His home, still empty after his shower, he tried calling Eve on her cell phone. No answer.

Thinking it odd she didn't answer, she always answered. Something felt wrong; looking around Seb finally noticed that many of Eve and Brodie's things were gone. Curious he began searching through both their dressers. Nothing! All empty, not even a single unmatched sock. Then he saw it laying on his pillow, a note left behind by his wife, her wedding ring lay on it.

Sebastian,

I can't live like this. I won't allow my child to be raised like this. I say 'my' and not ours cause he is no longer yours. You are no longer his father and not much of one to begin with. We have left the state. You will never see either of us again.

Eve

Sebastian felt his hopes, his dreams, his very world come crashing down around him. How? How could she do this? Why would she do this? She said nothing, gave no hint to her feelings. If only she had said something, talked to me. A million questions flooded his thoughts. A million more to follow. He was barely aware of the river of tears flowing from his eyes.

Still, months later reflecting back to that day the tears flowed. The pain of it all was causing him to become a shell. His former self was lost to him. Sebastian turned his very home into a dark cave of despair. People passing by could almost feel the intangible dread that was mounting inside that lone apartment. Lost in his ever deepening sadness, Sebastian stopped going to work. Why should he? It's not like he had anything to work for. His family kept telling him he would heal, that he would feel better and in time the pain will fade. Lies! All of it was lies. Day after day, month after month, his pain only evolved. Seb wasn't a man of faith, never really believed in God. He had his own way of thinking, and always considered suicide a cowardly thing to do. That was all before She took his son away from him. He felt he could live without Eve, but not without Brodie. Brodie was his greatest accomplishment, gone now, ripped from him by some selfish heartless bitch! What was the point of going on?

Maybe suicide wasn't a coward's way out. Maybe its courageous, to take matters into your own hand. Ending the pain has to be better than living with it. That much despair mounting could do horrible things to a man. Love lost does horrible things to a man. After relieving himself, Sebastian stood gazing into the mirror, seeing the monster he was becoming. The semblance, small though it was, of whom he used to be, was disgusted by what it saw. Staring into the eyes of the person in the mirror. This was no longer the Sebastian neither he, nor anyone else would recognize. After long moments of looking into those darkened eyes Seb made his decision.

Sebastian parked his car in the gravel parking lot. McMann's Mill, Sebastian came to this place a lot in his youth. A small grain mill from a time Sebastian believed to be simpler times. He always loved this place. Set back from the river, surrounded by trees and wildlife. As a child his parents brought him here to swim and walk the tow path. As a teenager he and his friends would come here to explore the forest, and as most teens do, party. This time though he came to this place with a heavy heart. Leaving all the items in his pocket, save his cigarettes and lighter, in his car, he would not need them anymore. Having decided to end his ill fated life he came here, wanting to see some beauty in the world one last time. Sebastian left no note, who would care if he was gone. Sebastian walked for a few hours searching for the cliff he use to party at. When he arrived to his destination the sun was just about to set. Sebastian timed it perfectly, wanting to watch the sun fall behind the mountains; the mountains that surrounded him his whole life, to see the sky afire with the colors of the setting sun. He watched the sun sink behind the blue-gray shapes in the distance, his thoughts quiet for the first time in months. He had decided his fate; there was no turning back, remaining firm in his decision. As the tip of the sun fell behind the not so distance mountain, arms spread out wide, and so too did Sebastian fall.

"I love you Brodie. I am so very sorry." Is all he said as he fell. Droplets of tears running up his face as the air rushed past, unable to slow his plummet. All went black before he smacked the hard stone. Sebastian felt nothing of his life ending, but what else was there for him to feel now that he was dead?