mr. perfect

xx) small miracles

It was on the third month that something happened on the monitor. 

Cas made the doctors rush in, and Dean's eyes fluttered open. They were not as green, Cas noticed. In fact, they were dull, and pained. 

"Cas?" A voice croaked out, raw. 

"Dean, dean, oh my god you're awake--i love you so much, I--" Cas had been planning what to say if Dean ever did wake up, which the doctors had told him was a one in a million chance. "I love you."

Dean started to laugh. "I just finished the book, and then I saw black spots. They told me I would have a few more months than this."

Cas started to laugh-cry, but it was strangled. Dean's hands were still cold, and the monitor was freaking out. The doctors were panicked, unsure how Dean was even alive at the moment. "Well."

"Sorry you had to find out like this--"

"Don't-don't. Don't be sorry. Just enjoy what you have." Cas bit his lip. Sammy started to bawl; like full out waterworks. He ran up to Dean and gave him the biggest hug, and Dean's nostil flared and eyes were a bit red as he hugged back through all the IV's attached to his arms. Cas saw true pain and relief on his face. 

"Sammy," Dean whispered, chin digging into Sam's back.

"Dean, I can't--hold on longer, please-" Sam was begging. After months of expressionless, and not talking-- Sam was finally showing emotion. "You're my big brother," his voice cracked. "You're my big brother, you don't get to do this, you're always the one that protected me and I--"

"Listen," Dean was trying so hard to keep his own tears in. He made Sam look at him, which was hard. He sighed, coughed loudly and spit up a bit of blood which he ignored. "Life's not fair, Sammy." His chin wobbled and he looked to the window a bit. He looked back to his brother. He chuckled, painfully breathing. "Life's a bitch. But now you got to use all that strength you've got, and fight your way through it. You hear me?"

Sammy cried more, face red and blotched. "But Dean, I--"

"Do you hear me?" Dean interrupted, voice wobbling. "You need to. Be strong for me, be strong for Cas. You were always the little fighter in our family, never took no for an answer," Dean weakly smiled. He coughed, and coughed some more, and everybody in the room was taking a breath and holding it, watching for the monitor. 

Sammy nodded, slowly, ever so slowly. "I...." He wiped his eyes. "I... I love you, man. I... there's so many things I wish I would've said... I'm sorry for all that I've said to you and...." He turned away and one of the nurses patted his back, and Dean had heartbreak all over his face. 

He turned to Cas. "I finished mr. perfect," he laughed, clearly that laugh that people have when they're so scared they turn to laughter. "I think I know what the message is."

Cas himself was shaking, sniffing. 

"It's like, no matter what path you take, you always seem to find the one you love, and there's always a happy ending." Dean's voice went higher. A bit of blood dribbled on his chin but he wiped it off, and Cas leant in closer. "There's always a happy ending," Dean croaked. 

Cas kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips. They were cold and pale, corpse-like. "Take care of Sammy, Cas. Take care of Sammy for me, because I know I'm not leaving this hellhole." Dean was struggling so much, barely holding on. He exhaled shakily, slowly. 

"Don't say that," Cas whispered, but he knew as well. 

Dean's eyes flashed green once last time, but something went paler. "Fight with him, my angel," were the last words that escaped his lips. 

Death wasn't like it was in the movies, oh no. Not that subtle death, quick and painless, eyes shutting with a smile on lips. No, it was sudden, and it was hurting Dean, and Cas wanted to take all that pain away and leave with Dean and take Sammy and play in the park together, he wanted to grow old with Dean, yeah, he wanted to get married and fall deeper in love, and die together, together. Instead of alone. 

The monitor hesitated and then it was solid, solid line, crossing the screen. A loud, long beep. 

Sammy began to scream. 

And it was apparenlty a small mircale in itself, how Dean Winchester had survived long enough. A miracle that he met Cas, and a miracle that Cas did take care of Sammy. A miracle how Cas never forgot Dean Winchester, the way his smile seemed to brighten up a room and that his green eyes were the most colourful things he'd ever see in his life, and how he always did the best he could and never deserved what he had. 

Quite the miracle.